That is the damage from sitting in front of my computer. So far, one frozen cramping foot (the left one), one sore butt, hunger, and crankiness. I just finished the proofreading of the weekly church stuff and just want to eat a banana and drink my strawberry vodka cooler. Sounds like a plan. And watch hours of (mindless) TV, knowing I don't need to set the alarm.

Surprisingly, the vision seems to be better than fair. I watched last night's The Rookie in the morning. It was both serious and ludicrous. If you watched, you'll know what I mean.

I also finished reading the study guide to our book club selection for April. It's nice to be ahead of the game, but now I have nothing new to read. Do I try to borrow May's selection? Oh, decisions, decisions. But not tonight. Now I have downtime.
Why the sadness? Atrocious sight. Completely understandable. And the gladness? Finishing the book and getting the (you-can't-really-call-it-a) happy ending. The blind teen survives and becomes a natural sciences professor. The German boy saves her but is captured after the war, becomes delirious and wanders off, killed by a landmine. But, then, it would be totally unrealistic that he would have survived, too. The book teetered between self-determination and predestination, especially when one appeared helpless against societal whims.

Even with lousy sight, I watched last night's Bull in SuM's living room while waiting for my meals. It was a sad but redemptive story in which a teen living with his survival-obsessed father for more than a decade is charged with murder after his father kills a CPS worker, even though he himself only shot a LEO in the leg. In his trial, we learn that he'd lived with a CPS worker for three weeks, during which time she took him to church and Sunday school. That had been enough to counter his father's instruction. Despite being able to consistently hit the bull's eye at 100 feet, he aimed for the leg at 20 feet.

What with all the cat-astrophes in the household, S's cat whom I've renamed Bast is back home after minor surgery, wearing … the cone. Poor baby.

I dozed off while watching TV in the afternoon. Then I decided to go upscale at dinner tonight while watching MasterChef Jr., drinking sparkling wine to accompany my chicken Caesar wrap! Yes, I'm silly. And now yawning widely again. Oops. Sorry. So, off to bed with me.
So, I may have stayed up until around 3:30 a.m. Silly blonde. I woke up exactly at 9:00 a.m., in the middle of a dream (also my lungs were squeaking!). The dreams have been happening on a regular basis lately. Very strange, most illogical (like cohosting a Canadian awards show with someone on whom I've had a crush - not really, just in the dream - without any rehearsal and then just plopping down on a staircase on one side of the set!

Spent much of the day devouring the book for April. I keep hoping against hope that the ending isn't tragic for the primary character, a blind teenage girl (even though it's mostly set in the seaside fortress of St-Malo close to D-Day).

My sight has been wavering all day long, it's been irritating me. While it was adequate, I watched Friday's MacGyver. Later it was my daily judge and game shows. Right now I'm torn. Should I return to the book (because I'm curious) or should I go to bed (because I've been yawning for hours). I think I'm going to let bed win.
… and wakes up early Monday, still with excellent sight! I credit chocolate, myself.

But it really had been an inspired day. First of all, it was S*U*N*N*Y and almost mild out (so I didn't bother buttoning my coat). I was on duty, Rev. Jeff. presided, Rev. Deana preached (oh, to hear her talking about coming back in the next life as a bear … when she wasn't talking about bravery and referring to the man greeting people at one of the NZ mosques), and my good friend church-Brian was Co-Consecrator at Communion. While I was surrounded by church-family and exquisite music thad had included "The Impossible Dream".

Naturally, I was anxious to get home and describe everything that had happened. Another oops. I was finished after 7, but had forgotten to write about a couple of points. I blame low blood sugar as all I'd had was instant noodles. And, then, I absolved myself because it's not my function to recreate the day, but to allude to the various parts of the service and enhance them. Which apparently I did, as Rev. Deana immediately "liked" my post and left a compliment!

Then I collapsed in bed, watching new epis of Peppa Pig and eating chocolate, shivering and covering myself with my home-made cocoon. So, now I'm up but still yawning w-I-d-e-L-y. But, as I'm still gifted with strong butter yellow against a dark chocolate background, I want to take advantage of it. Yes, that means staying up and reading. TTFN and a very good night, indeed.
Picture this. Jeopardy!, an epi from about a year ago. The category is Football. The clues are revealed only to be followed by painful silence. None of the three contestants buzzes in. With only the last clue still up, Alex adopts a dramatic air and intones, "If you ring in and get the $1,000 clue right, Ah. Will. Die!" After all the dead air, it was absolutely priceless. And, yes, Alex is such a ham!

So that was the highlight of my day. Otherwise, I took care of all sorts of problems for the blind group and continued reading this month's book, "All the Light We Cannot See". Even though it's set in WWII France (and Germany), it examines the minute details of two children's lives, a curious orphaned German boy and a blind French girl. The writing is fluid and beautifully nuanced. Even better, I have no idea where the author is headed. I also borrowed the study guide, so will read it when I'm done.

There was something else I did today, screwing up my courage to do so. I've been disappointed and upset by the actions of one of my fellow Anointers/Servers (and she's even a Team Lead) and sent her a long email. I wonder how long it'll take her to respond.

Okay, blondie, time to rest your weary eyes and go to sleep. Night-night.
Well, that sure sums up my day! Sight? Faltering with regards to watching TV, but still okay on the computer. I was highly aggravated trying to promote something for which an MPP (member of provincial parliament) - who just happens to be the opposition's critic on issues of disability - released an announcement about a special town hall meeting at the legislature. The date is plastered all over the place. The time? Uh … oops! I guess I'll be calling the legislature on Monday and asking for clarification. If they want people with disabilities to show up, giving specific times would be helpful, wouldn't you agree?

My mountain of groceries was delivered in a swamp of useless plastic bags. I hate their new system in which cardboard boxes have been junked. It took forever to put things away and, naturally, my spine has been screaming for hours. The only nice thing at the time is that I had the nature music channel on and was intrigued to hear instrumental versions of well-known hymns along with the crickets and other critters in the background. I've watched my game and judge shows, and have no patience (or eyes) for anything else. I think it's time for raspberry lemonade and a bit of chocolate to wash down my pills. Then, aaaah, bed.
Yesterday was grotesque and frustrating because of my lack of sight. Today, OTOH, was absolutely marvelous, from my catching sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror first thing in the morning (and seeing me all fluffy-haired about half an hour ago), to taking care of my blind group emails without too much difficulty, to washing a whole slew of soup containers for recycling, to doing my usual bang-up job of editing Sunday News for the church, to washing my hair (hence the fluffiness), to doing a load of laundry (giving me equally fluffy and warm knits), to reading (such bright, crisp font), to taking advantage of the sight as I didn't know how long it would last, so I watched the first three epis of S1 of The Orville and marvelled at the clarity of the picture. Seriously, if you don't count the fact that I have only one eye that works, it's as if I didn't have the diagnosis of being legally blind. It. Was. That. Amazing. I also just finished watching tonight's Will & Grace.

So, once again, I'm left with questions? Just what was the winning combination of conditions that determined I would see clearly today? I wish I knew. But, just in case, I'll try to keep up the cheerfulness. So utterly unscientific.

Sadly, there was no pie for me today as I'd eaten all of my desserts in the freezer. Perhaps I can have a rain check for tomorrow after the groceries are delivered. And the final reason for my uplifted spirits. It's nearly midnight and it's 49 degrees outside. Much of the snow has subsided and it's going to be 49 again tomorrow! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
Why? No visual reprieve. Not for a moment. No, wait. It seems to be improving - marginally - at the moment. Much, much, MUCH too late to make me feel better. I'd woken up at 7:18 and was logged in to my grocery account by 7:30. Guess, just guess what time I finished placing my grocery order? 10? Nah. Noon? Nah … and that was when I finally heated up my brekkie!!! Okay, okay, speculate. After 2? Yes! We have a winner loser. Mind you, I had taken an hour to watch last night's game shows. But … still. It was an excruciating experience.

Finally, I was able to rest my aching knees by going to bed and watching the two N.C.I.S. epis. The original was setting up the inevitable departure of David McCallum by the end of the season. But, then, he's had a good run, played a lovely eccentric character (and even got to experience deja vu when they hired a young actor to play him from his Ilya Kuryakin days; mind you, the actor may have had good looks, but he didn't have the compelling "foreign" sensuality). The Nola spinoff showed a daughter's trauma when her mother is especially the target pf a vemgeful terrorist.

In the evening, considering the stupid eye, I had difficulty sending out an email to the book club. And I can't see where the cc/bcc is. I know it's somewhere on the right side, but can't locate it. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Off to bed I go. It's a good thing I ordered lots of chocolate to be delivered on Friday. I'm going to need all the mood-altering chemicals from the delicious substance.
Let's start with the experiment in sleeping. I first woke up in the dead of night. No, I wasn't going to check the time and depress myself. That's what I get for going to bed before midnight. Nothing but complications! I woke up again at 7:37. The next time I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see it was 8:18. And I got out of bed because, yadda, yadda, meal deliveries, needing to look presentable, and I may have been reading some fanfic. ::giggles:: May have....

The afternoon flew right by. I had just enough time to have some lovely chicken veggie soup and pour myself a glass of water before our monthly executive meeting began at 6. I'd already set all my TV shows to record. As it was, the meeting went overtime and didn't end until 8:30. At that point, I grabbed some mandarin oranges and watched the first episode of the new season of MasterChef Junior. It was just a chaos of kids - 24 in all - and I was too tired to pay attention. But some of the food looked gorgeous, especially lobster dishes. Yum!

I just found out I don't have to wake up early tomorrow to book rides. The book club is postponed by one week. Okay, sleepy times may commence.
helenkacan: (Default)
( Mar. 11th, 2019 10:31 pm)
Well, not now now, but it felt weird to look out the window when it was early evening and find the light reflected off the (stupid) snow. Amazingly enough, I also saw something else. You know the slipper I thought was under the bed. Well, somehow it had skidded (or been tossed by a poltergeist) under the fridge … which isn't even near. Oy. ::rolls eyes::

I'd had a decent sleep, waking up at a null equation of 7:34. I relaxed for most of the day until my sight improved (BTW, it's fabulous now) so that I could tackle setting up an auto-reply and auto-forward for the vision loss group. Well, I finally got the auto-reply done after much aggravation, but the auto-forward refuses to reveal the required popup. ::growls in frustration:: Well, I'll try again tomorrow. So what's the hurry? Oh, just our executive conference call in the evening.

The day seemed to stretch on forever. My only TV was my judge and game shows. I'm holding off beginning our book selection for April, because it's another war book set in France. Sigh. Anyway, I think it's high time for bed and resting my eyes for tomorrow.
helenkacan: (Default)
( Mar. 10th, 2019 11:40 pm)
What was so odd? Well, waking up an hour early wasn't so stressful, so I guess staying in bed yesterday made the difference. Yay. It was also mild. More yay. But I still wore all my winter stuff, just didn't bother buttoning my coat. But it was such a grey day and my vision was equally foggy. Sigh.

There were changes afoot at church, beginning with a Lenten series based on Anishnabe teachings, beginning with "Truth" today. Okay, Rev. Jeff is keeping me on my toes, so I have to pay extra special attention. Another change will go into effect next week, with a shorter, pared-down 9:00 a.m. service (no choir, for one thing). IMO, I believe it should be eliminated completely, as it is extra work especially for whoever is preaching, as well as logistically assigning volunteers.

My driver was early picking me up, then picked up a woman with autoimmune diseases who was off to a gym where she used the massage chairs exclusively. So I mentioned the electronic pedalling device I want to get. She was delightful, saying that red was my colour!

I took my time with my review. First I had soup. I wasn't going to deprive myself. Then I finished my stupid Russian ballet book that was basically porn … though it makes me wonder whether the practices were common at the time, or this was all just someone's version of badly written (OMG) fanfic? I then found our service online and began watching it, even though I had a hard time finding the play button! Just as Rev. Jeff was beginning his Benediction, Firefox crashed. I restarted the computer and had a miracle. Jeff had included a mother giraffe and her calf in his wonderful prayer. So … my computer has a number of wallpapers, usually a forest or water scene. But, today, of all days, it was a giraffe!!! I'll have to let him know. I can just hear him saying, "How cool is that?"

I was finally done by 8:00 p.m. Then I watched four new epis of Peppa Pig recorded this morning. Thanks to FB, I knew about them in advance (how unusual to see FB being helpful, lol). Had more soup in a different flavour and also tuna for the extra protein.

And the (I hope this is the last one) final bit of weirdness: I heard a thump a couple weeks ago (the sound of something hitting the floor). When I turned the lights on, my box of tissues was missing. I couldn't find it anywhere. Today, one of my floppy slippers disappeared. I actually (this was scary) got down on my knees and checked under the bed. No slipper. Just the missing tissue box!?!?! There must be an alternate dimension under the bed. Well, I know there's dust. Yuck.

Anyway, time to finally relax (especially as I'd already dozed off earlier). Maybe some real reading for a change.
Yep, I stayed in bed for most of the day. Naturally, it didn't help my biological thermostat that I woke up at 6:30 (sure, not as hideous as 6:11, but still horrid). Ugh.

I'd get out for a while and sit in front of the computer until my right knee would scream at me, so I'd need to pamper it. Just to confuse me, my sight wobbled up and down all day long. I'd thought of watching more of my Orville DVD but decided it would be unfair to miss out on the SFX. Continued reading my Russian ballet book in which the protagonist finally ends up at the imperial academy. Not so fast, blondie. It's still just more of the same stupidity as before. Sigh. So … back to bed. The ONLY thing that gave me joy was that there'd been a couple of Peppa Pig epis I hadn't seen before. Considering I've been watching for absolute years, that's significant. OTOH, do the math: out of about 17 hours, I enjoyed … ten minutes! I also found another vacay cottage and sent an email to that apparently non-existent baby bro of mine. Sigh.

I've set my alarm and hope my cellphone can figure out the time change. But I'm setting an alarm on my old clunker flip phone, too. The time change is so stressful on my body. So, all together now, BOOOOOOOOO.
Yes, just more of my weird life. As if I hadn't had enough sleep, not waking up until a blissful 8:42 (note the lovely mathematical progression - and none of this 6:11 nonsense), I kept zonking out late afternoon and early evening as I tried to watch my judge/game shows. I conked out between one breath and another, waking up each time to weird yet ephemeral dreams. Darn. I want instant playback capability!

So, the only thing keeping me slightly awake were the plentiful mandarins SuM had picked up for me as a favour. Such a delight! And, then, I fell asleep - again.

Have not received any response from that wascawy wabbit baby bro of mine regarding my choice of holiday "cottage". Maybe he'll talk to me this weekend.... And, in more of the putting-things-off category, I really have to write a long and serious email to someone at church. No, not hierarchy, but a team leader who is not displaying diversity and inclusivity (two of the church's foundations), making me avoid her as much as possible. Which is not how a responsible adult should behave.

Okay, back to reading. My sight has travelled all the way from crappy, to sunny yellow on black. It's now caramel on dark chocolate! So, so, so very confused.
I woke up at 6:11. Again. Sigh. Even though I didn't have decent sight in the morning (right now it's fabulous, go figure), I worked on an extra announcement from the church about International Women's Day. Then I decided to borrow a new book. After typing "Ballet" into the search box, I selected a very, very, very weird book that - so far - is just about the protagonist as a servant in an aristocratic household that beats and flogs everyone. The book was written around 1901, with the theme eventually morphing into the Russian ballet, where she'll deal with the pain because she's so used to it from all the beatings. Yeah, I'd roll my eyes, too. So I'm still waiting for the tedious parts to fly by.

My fave baby bro sent me links to places in Niagara-on-the-Lake. Despite my visual problems in the morning, I looked over several and like the one that's like in the middle of town, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, an ornamental pond and waterfall … you know, stuff I like. Let's see what Brian thinks about my choice.

With my stronger sight, I watched a lot of TV tonight: the judge and game shows, Big Bang Theory (in which Amy is conditioning Sheldon to like being around babies!), Young Sheldon, and an introspective epi of The Orville in which Gordon had to examine how to balance his gratitude to the friend who saved his life, sacrificing his freedom in the process, vs helping the friend scuttle a possible peace treaty by blowing up another ship. Using an alien's blood that causes explosions when exposed to oxygen (IIRC). Anyway, I may watch Will & Grace before bed. A bit of hilarity to counter the outer space sadness.
Up at 6 (for which, boo hiss) and tried to keep myself amused. In this case, that meant going at February's book and finishing it (again), while making notes for book club. Had a Twilight Zone thing where I thought the church had sent me the editing email. There was nothing on the PC, nor my phone, but I thought I'd seen a message on the iPad's Inbox. Was I mistaken? Was it an old one? Not sure, so I emailed the church.

In the meantime, I watched last night's The Rookie. It was more emotionally mature than many of the episodes. Then I may have dozed off. When I woke up, there really was an email from the church. Fixing it didn't take me long, so I could watch my judge shows and game shows. Speaking of which, it's sad to learn that Alex Trebek has cancer, but he's determined to fight it.

I finally got around to completing an online survey on how to increase employment levels of blind and visually impaired people - even if I have no desire to work again. Ha - I want to enjoy my retirement. Okay, back to enjoyment even if my sight is poor today. Sigh.
… than you've had in the last 16 years? Just accept it.

So, tonight was the second game of the finale of the super tournament with Ken vs Brad (and, yeah, Colby's team too). Brad once again had Ken's number. Mind you, it didn't hurt that Brad aced both Double Jeopardy squares. And, then, I remembered how I'd introduced M. to the game and we used to watch every night during Ken's impressive run.

Then I just finished reading a story in which the author ascribes a character's actions (most notably the impulsiveness) to ADD/ADHD. For the record, that's what M. has. I'd always recognized that M. had made all the important moves, but had never linked them (wanting to begin a relationship, proposing on a whim, and apparently dumping me just as easily) to the medical condition. It makes it a bit easier to accept, though there's a tiny voice in my head whispering that, if you have a problem area, then you work on not giving in to these impulses with your therapist, duh). But, hey, that ship sank 11 years ago. I'm just glad I didn't fall into the placating mindset. Ugh.

Anyway, that was my evening of introspection. Whew. It's been a long day, what with my morning two-hour conference call in which we dissected the Expo, then a visit with S. who'd accepted my meal delivery. We had a few laughs while talking.

At the end of the day, I am DELIGHTED by my strong vision. So confusing, but I just feel like reading for a couple of hours. This time for pleasure, not diagnosis. I'm also tickled pink by a lovely compliment paid to me for one of my older fics. Despite the bitter cold (yeah, we're back to that), I felt all warm and cocooned for a while.
… if only the biological time clock hadn't woken me up around 4:30 and then again after 7. Sigh. So I got out of bed to do my relaxing in front of the computer!

I read a little, did some blind group housekeeping, and then looked forward to tonight's TV. The first game of the Jeopardy! finale was great, with Ken's team ahead of Brad's by a titch. I think it'll always be these two, the master of the most games vs the head-to-head and most money winner. Naturally, I'm rooting for Ken.

The season ender of Murdoch Mysteries was a sad, cynical affair, what with the influential Board of Control (I guess a precursor of today's City Council) member arranging a number of murders (he shot himself before he could be arrested), and the black coroner's assistant exchanging contaminating a body with fake evidence for being awarded the chief coroner's position.

I can't stay up tonight as I have my conference call tomorrow morning, so off to bed I go, keeping my fingers crossed.
Sooooo, when I'm on duty at church, I have access to the detailed order of service (not to mention the fact that I proof-read it ahead of time, whether I'm on duty or not). I really should have paid better attention. I thought one of my fave jazz/scat singers was merely performing throughout the service (with the choir taking a break). Uh-huh. She was also preaching, what we call sharing of stories. What a fascinating life she'd led. And she would have never shown up unless our retiring music director had invited her one day two decades ago.

As if that hadn't been enough to make church extra special, we also had Judy and Dennis Shepard - Matthew's parents - drop in on their way to the airport. They'd been in a nearby city for the presentation of "The Laramie Project" at a school. They spoke about Matthew, his love of being involved in the Episcopal church, being an acolyte, also of seeing his ashes interred at the National Cathedral in DC, and ultimately of their goal of seeing the kind of diversity and openness they experienced with us happening everywhere. They only spoke for five minutes, but they were so powerful, even if Judy was crying softly when she stopped and Dennis began.

When I got home, I began writing. Eventually, the service was up on YouTube so I watched the bits I'd missed because I was preparing to serve. After that, I decided I needed a break from the heightened emotions, so went to bed watching SNL, dozing off and then finally falling asleep, not waking up until 9:15 p.m. Oops! Then came the mad dash to finish writing and posting which didn't happen until after midnight, but at least I didn't have that hanging over until today. And, then, I stayed up until around 2.

One last thing. Even though it was cold out, I fluffed up my hair, added product and hairspray and went out without wearing my beret. My friends liked my hair, one said it looked like a recreation from hippy days! Which is hilarious as I haven't had it cut or coloured since mid December. All hail my curling spray!
Such an amazing day, and I'm only finishing my summary of it because it was spectacular. More later. Now back to my words.
So, I happened to be up until 3, reading. Why? Well, I finally felt a bit warmer. Just a bit, mind you. I slept until around 8:28 and was cold again in the morning. To make things worse, there was NO internet and NO TV signal. I couldn't even read off my iPad because it needed recharging. Sigh. And SuM and S. were sleeping in as they'd only come home before 3. What to do, what to do? Aha! Time to begin watching my The Orville DVD. So I put a disc in. ::grumbles:: It was Disc 2, so I watched the last three epis as well as a raft of extras. By then, we were once again connected to the universe. Yay!

But I was cold again, so back to bed for a while. Then out again, so I could finish my silly children's mystery book. Then back in to warm up and have a 97 minute nap which included disturbed dreams. When I woke up, I watched my game show reruns. Nodded off during Jeopardy! so had to backtrack. Read a bit more of my February book, then warmed up my insides with some piping hot pasta. Then back to bed and began to feel properly warm for the first time all day. So all that's left is to do my eyedrops and crawl back in. Not looking forward to going out in the cold tomorrow, even though we're having special guests at church.


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