![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Oh, I'm sure you're wondering how awful it was. But that's the point. It wasn't awful. It was exquisite. And something I performed 35 years ago with an orchestra. I was one of 8 sopranos who sang Sirenes (from Debussy's Trois Nocturnes), with the only vocalizing being done to "Ah". I loved performing so much (even though I don't really have the personality of a performer). But hearing this tonight on the radio (which I've had on all day on the 'puter) seemed to zoom in on the fact that I don't feel I've done anything worthwhile with my life. And I remember nearly every one of my performances: the shining, uplifted face in Trinity College Chapel; the saucy, flirting girl in Marriage of Figaro (the last night of its run, my garter slid off and the ballet dancers were tripping over it!); impersonating a boysoprano in Honneger's Cantate de Noel, and on and on and on.
I suppose it wasn't the music that triggered this reaction. Being stuck at home because of the snow would exacerbate any negative feelings. The only good thing about the snow is that it provides a noise dampening effect. It's so peaceful here. Maybe that's a part of the problem: it's so quiet, I can't do anything but think about ... things.
Well, besides spending most of the day dozing with the station on in the background, I ate a whole can of cranberry sauce with my sliced turkey. That was yummy. And talked to M (even though I believe I was snippy - le sigh). I've already figured out that one reason why I'm so irritable today is because I didn't get to go to church because of the weather and it'll be three weeks before I go again. Since going to church makes me feel good, well, you can come to the same conclusion. I'm in trouble.
Well, at least I've got fanfic to read to keep me sane. Oh, boy.
Anyway, enough ranting for now. I think I need to go grab a cold pop. And read some more.
Harried hugs,
H.
I suppose it wasn't the music that triggered this reaction. Being stuck at home because of the snow would exacerbate any negative feelings. The only good thing about the snow is that it provides a noise dampening effect. It's so peaceful here. Maybe that's a part of the problem: it's so quiet, I can't do anything but think about ... things.
Well, besides spending most of the day dozing with the station on in the background, I ate a whole can of cranberry sauce with my sliced turkey. That was yummy. And talked to M (even though I believe I was snippy - le sigh). I've already figured out that one reason why I'm so irritable today is because I didn't get to go to church because of the weather and it'll be three weeks before I go again. Since going to church makes me feel good, well, you can come to the same conclusion. I'm in trouble.
Well, at least I've got fanfic to read to keep me sane. Oh, boy.
Anyway, enough ranting for now. I think I need to go grab a cold pop. And read some more.
Harried hugs,
H.
Oh, I'm sure you're wondering how awful it was. But that's the point. It wasn't awful. It was exquisite. And something I performed 35 years ago with an orchestra. I was one of 8 sopranos who sang Sirenes (from Debussy's Trois Nocturnes), with the only vocalizing being done to "Ah". I loved performing so much (even though I don't really have the personality of a performer). But hearing this tonight on the radio (which I've had on all day on the 'puter) seemed to zoom in on the fact that I don't feel I've done anything worthwhile with my life. And I remember nearly every one of my performances: the shining, uplifted face in Trinity College Chapel; the saucy, flirting girl in Marriage of Figaro (the last night of its run, my garter slid off and the ballet dancers were tripping over it!); impersonating a boysoprano in Honneger's Cantate de Noel, and on and on and on.
I suppose it wasn't the music that triggered this reaction. Being stuck at home because of the snow would exacerbate any negative feelings. The only good thing about the snow is that it provides a noise dampening effect. It's so peaceful here. Maybe that's a part of the problem: it's so quiet, I can't do anything but think about ... things.
Well, besides spending most of the day dozing with the station on in the background, I ate a whole can of cranberry sauce with my sliced turkey. That was yummy. And talked to M (even though I believe I was snippy - le sigh). I've already figured out that one reason why I'm so irritable today is because I didn't get to go to church because of the weather and it'll be three weeks before I go again. Since going to church makes me feel good, well, you can come to the same conclusion. I'm in trouble.
Well, at least I've got fanfic to read to keep me sane. Oh, boy.
Anyway, enough ranting for now. I think I need to go grab a cold pop. And read some more.
Harried hugs,
H.
I suppose it wasn't the music that triggered this reaction. Being stuck at home because of the snow would exacerbate any negative feelings. The only good thing about the snow is that it provides a noise dampening effect. It's so peaceful here. Maybe that's a part of the problem: it's so quiet, I can't do anything but think about ... things.
Well, besides spending most of the day dozing with the station on in the background, I ate a whole can of cranberry sauce with my sliced turkey. That was yummy. And talked to M (even though I believe I was snippy - le sigh). I've already figured out that one reason why I'm so irritable today is because I didn't get to go to church because of the weather and it'll be three weeks before I go again. Since going to church makes me feel good, well, you can come to the same conclusion. I'm in trouble.
Well, at least I've got fanfic to read to keep me sane. Oh, boy.
Anyway, enough ranting for now. I think I need to go grab a cold pop. And read some more.
Harried hugs,
H.
.