Helenka, Queen of Outer Space

Not just the mind, but also the vision. It's not fair that I'm getting a one-on/one-off sleep routine. Last night was definitely OFF, as I went to bed after midnight but was up at 3:39. The only good thing was excellent vision. I'd set the alarm for 9 - which was a cruel joke. So I read for a wee bit. We had blind book club this morning and spent the time discussing our first-ever play, Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest". Even for a short play, we could have devoted separate meetings to each of the three acts. The discussion was all over the map, as we brought our individual backgrounds (two Greek/Macedonian, two Chinese, one Filipina, one from ?/South American and me).

After that I dropped off into a nap. And that was the most engaged part of my day. I need bed. Stat. Even with the TV on, I can't distract the pain away. Sigh.

I'm ending the day on a high, with tears in my eyes from all the feels after watching tonight's ST:Disco. It's as if there's a direct conduit right to my heart. In any case, it's a lot better way to be expressing feelings, because that's not where I was in the middle of the night.

Let's backtrack to 3:19 a.m., still unable to fall asleep because of fluttering pain. Considering how much love my hands are stroking over my torso, you'd think I would have whittled a new waistline. Yeah, sure. I finally gave in, took two more pills and finally conked out. So my lucky streak ended at 4 nights. Sigh.

I also had two good memories from the news, one hearing the Dominion Carilloneur playing the Jeopardy! theme on the Parliament Hill bells in Ottawa in honour of Alex Trebek; the second was learning about a (I believe) 97-year old vet who was unable to be present at yesterday's ceremonies. She recalled how she'd joined the Women's Naval Service in England and became a codebreaker. She was very proud of her official codebreaker brooch.

I managed to have almost a good day, shucking off the pain, with the help of heat. And doing stuff for the blind group. And, naturally, being sucked into a gorgeously emotional world of the future. There was also a hilarious epi of Young Sheldon to enjoy. I may still watch some more TV, as my vision is all happy, bright, and vivid.

Mind you, I do concede being foolish staying up until 3:15 (sigh) to finish the latest vigilante book. And, then, the trouble began. I just couldn't get my pulse to settle down, though I believe it was in synch with those blasted spasms. No amount of massage or gentle laying on of hands would do the trick. So I got out of bed 90 minutes later and returned to reading. Only then was I able to get some sleep.

I had to wake up at 8:45, to eat brekkie and place my meal order before the book club meeting began. Oh, I was so bouncy at 10:00 to hear so many people on the Zoom call, including the Senior Librarian of our branch, joining us for the first time. I hadn't had a chance to read the book, but listened in rapt wonder as everybody(!!!) praised the book and its relevance to us as we are confined to our residences. I can't wait until I can finally read it. We were so happy to be together, we even inserted a meeting in July to cover the meeting we'd missed a couple months ago, at the beginning of the lockdown.

S. did me a favour as she went shopping to the drugstore, picking up two bottles of Robax. Unfortunately, there'd been some price gouging since her last time, with each bottle being five to eight bucks more a pop! Just disgusting. But, OTOH, my muscles relaxed immediately. I'm still cutting back but I'm not going to deprive myself unreasonably.

After the meeting, I really needed to lie down. I dozed off for a wee bit, tn watched my regular programs. And now it's time for pills and bed. Or … dare I continue reading the next book in the series? After all, my schedule is free tomorrow. Whee!

DJ? Who's that? Well, I'm the DJ - er, Distracting Jokester - for the blind group. I sent out my first of several emails containing ten jokes that will most likely be groaners. But I've already received messages of thanks, so that's a very good thing. The initial reason for boosting morale is that this is the Victoria Day long weekend that is usually considered to be the first weekend of summer. But, with all the restrictions, it's going to be more difficult for people to withstand more isolation. We're not even having fireworks on Monday.

Anyway, that was my good deed for the day which was a miracle as I had another painful night with interrupted/delayed sleep. Sigh.

Watched my usual TV shows as my own distracting technique. I'm also trying to improve my nutrition, so had some broccoli soup for inner. I found out the hard way that there is such a thing as too old aged Merlot Cheddar.

Okay, I think I'm done. Tomorrow I'll be posting two Trump jokes. Ooooooh.

Ergo, I am not normal. Stayed up reading the stupid book (more on that later) until 2:30 when I felt I should go to sleep. My body didn't agree, leaving me tossing and turning for an hour. So I got out and returned to reading. Finally, at 5, I was to fall asleep - even though my torso was being wracked by pain. I slept until 8:10. Woo with a tired side of hoo.

So, the only thing I accomplished during the day was to keep reading the stupid book. Oh, I can't wait for our Zoom meeting on the 15th. I'm going to shred the book. The writing is atrocious, full of pretentious you-peasants-ought-to-know-all-this-art-talk arrogance, a glorified soap opera with a veneer of undeserved nouveau riche. Anyway, I'm up to 82%, with only one chapter to go.

Otherwise, I was delighted to see brand new epis of Peppa Pig. Yay! And it was faintly amusing to see our Mayor on the 6 PM news saying he's bought a pair of scissors to cut his own hair! Ugh. Don't even mention hair. Let me go to bed dreaming of a return to normal times, even if it's a different definition of "normal".

Well, it was definitely "misery" day after a weird night. I ended up staying awake until 3:02 a.m. Why? Because. It took a couple of minutes for me to fall asleep … UNTIL … until I woke up with the customary tearing sensation in my back at - wait for it - 4:26 a.m.!!! I took a couple more Robax and tried to fall asleep. Finally gave up and got on my computer. Hey, at least I'm keeping myself amused.

Played around with my McShep fic for a couple of hours, then returned to bed just to try different positions lying down, though not necessarily aiming for sleep. I didn't eat until almost noon when I figured I should be having my pills. The afternoon wasn't very comfortable. But I worked on blind group stuff, posted my fic to AO3 and the RomancingMcShep community. That was a huge relief.

I finally bit the bullet and posted my capitulation on FB. Have received wonderfully supportive comments and approvals. I'll reply to them tomorrow. So, one suggestion is to just use bullet points until I feel strong enough to write a full review. Well, it's one possibility so I don't get too far behind but not too stressful for me.

Finally able to relax, catch up on TV. Watched last week's MacGyver premiere online. Maybe I'll watch the next one tomorrow as long as I have decent sight (which was see-saw unpredictable all day long).

But, alas, the back spasms had other intentions. I tried to tough it out after swallowing another Robax but it didn't take until I'd been out of bed for absolute hours. Don't ask me how I survived church with so little sleep. Even worse, I was having a gross hair day so I wore a semi-sheer red and white circle patterned scarf on my head. Church-John kept threatening to pull it off my head! Nooooo, I mock yelled … and prevailed. No scarves were pulled.

Church was fascinating, especially today as Rev. Deana got to preach about Hildegard von Bingen. Considering all of her accomplishments so many centuries ago, I wonder if she even slept! She certainly made efficiant and brilliant use of her hours and days. So, naturally, I have to read up on her. Our new music director was at the piano today, getting more into his role that will commence on October 1.

It's a good thing summer decided to stick around (high around 80), as my ride was 30 minutes late. I was so relieved to finally get home and fall into bed for that nap. I managed to sleep through all sorts of unpleasant visitors and sounds which was another relief. When I woke up, I got sidetracked by reading FB on my phone and am so glad I did. It turns out that Battle of the Blades had started on Thursday night so I managed to watch it on my computer. But it'll be so much nicer watching on my TV from now on. Also checked last night's SNL and it was another rerun, so no season premiere yet.

I think I'm fading fast - again - so I think I'm headed to bed again.

So, what was waking up at Pi? Well, I'd gone to bed at 12:30 (so early), setting the alarm for 6:25, because we were expecting the plumber at who-knows-when and I'd scheduled my grocery delivery for 7:00 through 9:00 a.m. I'd cleared the furniture away before bed last night, resulting in the usual excruciating pain that woke me up at 3:14. I swallowed a Robax and tried to get back to sleep. Even though I could feel the warmth spreading through me, I just couldn't fall back to sleep. So I got out of bed at 3:55.

Imagine my surprise to perceive the rest of the house was up. SuM went to the bathroom. Seeing that there were vulnerable pots outside during a windstorm, she went out on the back deck. Bast seized the opportunity to fly out, while S. was calling, warning against letting the cat out. Oops. Too Late. So, then, S. is at the back door seeing Bast glaring at her from the leaves of the tree! Someone, S. got the cat inside.

What's this about Friday the 13th? Well, my groceries were delivered around 7:25. It took forever to sort. When I was through, I was missing about 7-8 items but had been charged $50 for them. So I called CSR who managed to call the truck, learn my bag was there, and that I'd have it after 11:30 a.m. Also, they were still out of the good ginger beer. At least I enjoyed my sesame shrimp rolls for lunch.

I'd been taking Robax every few hours and, by the time 3 p.m. rolled around, I felt as if I'd been awake forever. I was so groggy, I went to bed and watched TV, but I kept zonking out for a few minutes at a time. Sigh.

Add my confusion as I'd had great vision in the morning that disappeared suddenly in the middle of the day then reappeared in the evening. While it was still good, I prepared a report on the books we're reading in 2020 for the leader. I'm basically alternating funny and serious books. Hope it works. We also exchanged pleasantries. Even virtual, every connection counts.

As I'm fading (and so if my sight!), I'd better go to bed. I'm doing the unthinkable! As I'm delaying laundry until tomorrow, I'm wearing my leopard caftan to bed that clashes with my sheet set. Oh … dear.

I really didn't deserve to be woken up two hours before my alarm by some unknown noise. But I did and it was dreadful because the pain wouldn't let up enough for me to sleep, so I got out of bed and decided to read instead. Have I mentioned that I'm tearing through library books at a quick pace? Sigh. It wasn't really spring out either, so I wore my hooded coat to church. Aggravated because I couldn't locate either my special black bow or my red flower hairclip. So I just used hairspray and left.

Churh-John must have been mindreading as he offered me a fast-food omelette (with cheese and bacon, IIRC). After that and the iced coffee I'd packed, I was able to take a muscle relaxant. Time to almost feel human. Naturally, just being at church made me feel better. It was Pentecost, aka the "birthday" of the church and Rev. Jeff was On. Fire! A lot of passion in the sermon. There was also the most adorable baptism with this little angel in white toddling about in front of her daddies. The three of them were also Co-Consecrators at Communion. I'll definitely enjoy rewatching this service.

When I got home, I was so, so, so exhausted. I put off posting last week's service because I just felt like reading for a while longer. And then I did the honourable thing and posted, even though c-J thought I should just not bother. Skip a week. What??? I can't do that. People rely on me (the most prolific online supporter of the church!). More importantly, "I" rely on me!

I ended up in bed, watching recorded Peppa Pig epis, but I kept dozing off. Eventually, I really fell asleep and didn't wake up. For hours. But I'm up now. Eating some gummi worms. So … nutritious. NOT. And back to reading.

So, how bizarre? How about I-didn't-get-a-wink-of-sleep-last-night bizarre. Ugh. It was horrible. I could hear the crackle of my ear against the pillow; my mind was racing; I couldn't settle down. I finally got out of bed and decided to read until it was late enough for me to have brekkie. I was also not a happy camper that it was in the mid 40s (when adjusted for wind!chill!) and I was sitting outside waiting for my ride for almost 30 minutes. ::growls::

But all that changed when I got to the blind centre. The activity was one I'd suggested (I make good suggestions), namely a sneak preview of some of the talent from our fall fundraiser. We had two (separate) singers with guitars. a dancer, a singing poet (who just happens to be my wonderful Filipina friend with an unexpectedly beautiful voice). There were lots of snacks including really delish choc chip & oatmeal cookies (I brought most of my snacks home).

Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling well in the evening. Perhaps (surely not) I'd had too many strawberries and apple slices at the meeting? But they're healthy. Sigh.

Watched my recorded TV including tonight's MasterChef Jr. I'll watch the extra fluff epi tomorrow. I also decided I'm going to pub night next Tuesday with the blind group - if I get my rides. I also emailed my sis RS as she's in charge of a forum on affordable housing for disabled people. Excuse me while I dissolve in hysterical laughter. Yeah, right. I also sent her a personal email telling her how proud I am of her, as she seems to have found her niche in the working world.

Anyway, time to cross my fingers and hope I conk out like a regular person. ::pleased with the universe:: On the flip side, my vision was fabulous AFTER I'd come home. Once again, I'm wondering if it was the cold air hitting my eyeball or the fun I had!