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Title: "Trick or Treat"
Fandom: Glee, post S3 (specifically August 2, 2012)
Type: Gen fanfic
Characters: Kurt, Artie, Brittany, Sugar, Principal Figgins and a surprise character
Trufax: I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked up the dates of Chris's book tour. He actually did cover three cities in Ohio at the end of July. I love it when fact is so ... helpful, lol.
Author's Notes: Written for a particular contest where the prize was a signed copy of Chris Colfer's book. Alas, the person running it apparently didn't care for dorky fic. But I'm glad I wrote it, even if it's only for me ... and shared with you!
He chuckled. Who would have thought that a place such as Lima, Ohio would provide so much amusement for one of his kind? But, then, he also liked the two four-letter words themselves. They appealed to him in an instinctive way. So, he leaned back and watched as tiny wrinkles marred the fabric of the universe.
~::~
Principal Figgins squinted his eyes and tilted his head. It was definitely his handwriting, but he had no memory of pencilling in [McKinley High] in today's square, namely Thursday, August 2nd, 2 pm sharp. Why would he have a reason to travel to the school when classes weren't set to resume for another month? But, then, he thought it wiser not to question things, even if he'd instigated them. He set the kettle on the stove for tea because it was never too hot for tea.
~::~
Kurt pouted. Again. It just wasn't fair. He knew he ought to be more grownup about the whole situation, but he felt he deserved the right to whine. Here he was, still stuck in Lima over the summer after graduation while his best friends (and ~I-don't-know-what-to-call-him~) had fled. Of course, Rachel was getting settled into her dorm room at NYADA and he couldn't begrudge her ... because it was ... *N*E*W***Y*O*R*K*. He couldn't help but imagine those letters twinkling against the city's skyline, outlined in marquee lights, until they dimmed suddenly to reflect the uncertain state of his own future.
It didn't help that Cooper, Blaine's brother, had dragged him away for time with the parentals. Kurt couldn't wait until he returned in two weeks' time.
It was just too spooky quiet at home. Finn was off, doing Finn-things. Even their parents finally had a chance at that honeymoon they'd cancelled, once the refund cheque had come in from Dalton. Well, at least he could enjoy the pictures they kept sending him every day (more like every hour) – from a distance. No way did he want to be that close to nature.
Not that it mattered. He had a written summons to be at McKinley today and no excuse note forthcoming from an absent Burt. So ... what to wear? He finally chose his most casual outfit, a pale peach polo, charcoal and grey argyle pants, and a soft grey bandana. Even if nobody ~important~ saw him, he'd know he looked good. Before he left home, he grabbed his newest prized possession and a pair of silver and black knee pads (designed and sewed by him, naturally).
~::~
Brittany puttered about her bedroom. There was no way her parents were excusing her after she'd brought home that really, really, ~really~ bad report card. It didn't matter that this wasn't an official school function either. She wanted to take Lord Tubbington with her because she knew he'd be perfect for the job. But then she worried he might start sneezing. So, instead, she grabbed her enormous fluffy bunny slippers and left Lord Tubbington to continue his nap. Naps were seriously necessary for cats. Everyone knew that.
~::~
Artie smiled as he wheeled into school. He was ~so~ the man. He actually didn't mind having to come to school today. He knew he wouldn't be the only one there and couldn't wait to show off. With him there, they'd be finished in no time.
~::~
They'd all worked hard – well, all three of them since nobody else had shown up. The evidence was as shiny as the floor of the choir room. Brittany had first danced over the floor trying out new choreography in her fluffy slippers until she'd snagged most of the aptly-named dust bunnies. Kurt had been busy on his knees, reaching into the corners to wipe away the last traces of grime. Finally, it had been Artie's turn. Ever since he'd received the RoboLegs for Christmas, he'd begun to think of how he could modify regular household appliances. He'd managed to fit special twirling buffing pads behind his wheels and wowed his workmates with his own dance moves, polishing the floor until it gleamed. They were all hot, tired and sweaty when they were done, but knew Principal Figgins couldn't help but be impressed. That floor had never looked so good.
~::~
They had a little time left before the deadline of 2 pm, just enough to clean themselves up in the washrooms and drink some water. What they weren't expecting was Sugar's voice - "Hey, are you all ready for the Sugar shack?" - floating down the hallway accompanied by the rumble of a motorized vehicle. By the time they reached the door, Sugar was already there, in the driver's seat of a pink ice cream cart, complete with striped canopy! "My daddy thought you should get a treat for doing all the work, so here I am."
After dragging some chairs out into the hallway – because there was no way they were going to mess up the shiny floor – they enjoyed triple scoops of ice cream as Sugar's cart had more than just 39 varieties. Not that they were surprised. This was how Sugar always did things.
After she waved goodbye and left, they pulled the chairs back into the spotless choir room. Only then did Kurt retrieve his newest possession to show the others. He didn't know whether they'd appreciate it as much as he did, but he was happy he at least got his own signed copy of Chris Colfer's book ~The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell~ only a few days ago. Kurt had been surprised to learn that Chris was doing signings in three Ohio cities and wondered what connection Chris might have to this particular region. But, hey, as long as it made it easier to get a copy, he wasn't complaining. He'd even bought a special padded, zippered book bag for it, in bright slashes of mauve, apricot and turquoise.
Kurt remembered standing in line to get the book signed, but was disappointed to see how plainly Chris was dressed. Yes, there was ~some~ similarity in their looks (though, really, Chris was a ~lot~ older looking), but Kurt knew he himself was much more stylish. Chris seemed tired and subdued, but Kurt thought the streaks in his hair looked cute. Kurt wondered if he could put streaks in his hair and pretend they were natural highlights from the summer sun. Considering how he wasn't going to ruin his skin by sunbathing, he knew he wouldn't be able to pull that excuse off. So ... no streaks.
He waved the others over as he opened the cover. Then his eyes goggled. Because everything was gibberish. He wasn't suffering from an aneurysm or some weird dyslexia. All 448 pages were there as he riffled through them frantically, but each page was apparently in a different language. Some of them he could make out. Like French, because of the odd fashion mag subscription. Or Spanish, from classes. Another page was in Pig Latin ... and yet another in Egyptian hieroglyphs. This. Could. Not. Be. Happening. To. Him. But it was. Even the title page was upside down and the coveted signature looked like chicken feet.
Kurt didn't know what to do: lie down, go home, take a chill pill or scream in frustration. He closed the book cover gently and slid it away from him. Maybe he could count to 10 – or 100 – or a billion. Maybe the book would be normal again if he wished hard enough. Maybe this was a test for him. A magic one, even though he didn't believe in magic. But, hey, if the universe was going to do something freaky (beyond the rejection letter from NYADA despite his audition that Carmen had praised highly and ~told~ him so to his face), anything could happen.
Sensing that something was freaking Kurt out, Brittany and Artie moved back and waited quietly for the clock to strike 2. As it did, they heard the familiar footsteps of the person they'd been expecting, aka Principal Figgins. He walked in, looked around and frowned.
Brittany seemed to be the boldest of them all, so raised her hand. "We cleaned and polished the floor, just like you wanted us to. See, I even used my bunny slippers." The bunny slippers were ~very~ dusty indeed.
Principal Figgins rubbed at his right temple, as if an idea had just popped into his head. It had, in fact, just done so. Something about requiring all of the Glee club members to come in on this particular day – whether they'd graduated or not - unless they had a written excuse from a parent. So that explained the stack of letters on his desk. He still couldn't remember making that odd demand, either personally or through Mr. Shue, but thought he'd better play along so he could go home as quickly as possible. "Very good, children. I'm certain the new students will appreciate your hard work when the fall term begins. You are now dismissed!" With that, he scurried out, eager to leave a very strange sensation behind ... that of being manipulated. It wasn't the first time he'd felt something similar but really didn't care to examine that more closely. Some things were better left alone.
~::~
The Trickster god laughed with glee. It was so much fun throwing a tiny bit of chaos at these puny humans. He'd enjoyed himself in this Ohio nowheresville but should be moving on. Vail sounded good to him. Another four-letter word, and it would be cooler in the mountains. But, first, he had one last person to visit, namely one Sue Sylvester. It was always fun to make her act irrational ... more than she already was.
~::~
Artie and Brittany took off as soon as Figgins had left. They were chatting excitedly. Brittany seemed particularly interested in Artie's new wheelchair accessories and wanted to know what else he had at home and did that mean she could call him a Transformer.
Kurt didn't envy them, well ... not too much. But he still didn't want to go home to an empty house. So he found a shady corner of the concrete steps outside. After brushing dirt off the surface, he sat down gingerly and opened his book bag again.
This time, luck was with him. The pages looked completely normal ... well, as normal as a book of re-imagined fairy tales could be. Kurt settled in to read all about Alex and Conner and their adventures. He could lose himself for a few hours, while he was waiting for his own life to begin. He knew it would. He just had to be patient a bit longer – at least until he finished the book.
THE END
~::~
Fandom: Glee, post S3 (specifically August 2, 2012)
Type: Gen fanfic
Characters: Kurt, Artie, Brittany, Sugar, Principal Figgins and a surprise character
Trufax: I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked up the dates of Chris's book tour. He actually did cover three cities in Ohio at the end of July. I love it when fact is so ... helpful, lol.
Author's Notes: Written for a particular contest where the prize was a signed copy of Chris Colfer's book. Alas, the person running it apparently didn't care for dorky fic. But I'm glad I wrote it, even if it's only for me ... and shared with you!
He chuckled. Who would have thought that a place such as Lima, Ohio would provide so much amusement for one of his kind? But, then, he also liked the two four-letter words themselves. They appealed to him in an instinctive way. So, he leaned back and watched as tiny wrinkles marred the fabric of the universe.
~::~
Principal Figgins squinted his eyes and tilted his head. It was definitely his handwriting, but he had no memory of pencilling in [McKinley High] in today's square, namely Thursday, August 2nd, 2 pm sharp. Why would he have a reason to travel to the school when classes weren't set to resume for another month? But, then, he thought it wiser not to question things, even if he'd instigated them. He set the kettle on the stove for tea because it was never too hot for tea.
~::~
Kurt pouted. Again. It just wasn't fair. He knew he ought to be more grownup about the whole situation, but he felt he deserved the right to whine. Here he was, still stuck in Lima over the summer after graduation while his best friends (and ~I-don't-know-what-to-call-him~) had fled. Of course, Rachel was getting settled into her dorm room at NYADA and he couldn't begrudge her ... because it was ... *N*E*W***Y*O*R*K*. He couldn't help but imagine those letters twinkling against the city's skyline, outlined in marquee lights, until they dimmed suddenly to reflect the uncertain state of his own future.
It didn't help that Cooper, Blaine's brother, had dragged him away for time with the parentals. Kurt couldn't wait until he returned in two weeks' time.
It was just too spooky quiet at home. Finn was off, doing Finn-things. Even their parents finally had a chance at that honeymoon they'd cancelled, once the refund cheque had come in from Dalton. Well, at least he could enjoy the pictures they kept sending him every day (more like every hour) – from a distance. No way did he want to be that close to nature.
Not that it mattered. He had a written summons to be at McKinley today and no excuse note forthcoming from an absent Burt. So ... what to wear? He finally chose his most casual outfit, a pale peach polo, charcoal and grey argyle pants, and a soft grey bandana. Even if nobody ~important~ saw him, he'd know he looked good. Before he left home, he grabbed his newest prized possession and a pair of silver and black knee pads (designed and sewed by him, naturally).
~::~
Brittany puttered about her bedroom. There was no way her parents were excusing her after she'd brought home that really, really, ~really~ bad report card. It didn't matter that this wasn't an official school function either. She wanted to take Lord Tubbington with her because she knew he'd be perfect for the job. But then she worried he might start sneezing. So, instead, she grabbed her enormous fluffy bunny slippers and left Lord Tubbington to continue his nap. Naps were seriously necessary for cats. Everyone knew that.
~::~
Artie smiled as he wheeled into school. He was ~so~ the man. He actually didn't mind having to come to school today. He knew he wouldn't be the only one there and couldn't wait to show off. With him there, they'd be finished in no time.
~::~
They'd all worked hard – well, all three of them since nobody else had shown up. The evidence was as shiny as the floor of the choir room. Brittany had first danced over the floor trying out new choreography in her fluffy slippers until she'd snagged most of the aptly-named dust bunnies. Kurt had been busy on his knees, reaching into the corners to wipe away the last traces of grime. Finally, it had been Artie's turn. Ever since he'd received the RoboLegs for Christmas, he'd begun to think of how he could modify regular household appliances. He'd managed to fit special twirling buffing pads behind his wheels and wowed his workmates with his own dance moves, polishing the floor until it gleamed. They were all hot, tired and sweaty when they were done, but knew Principal Figgins couldn't help but be impressed. That floor had never looked so good.
~::~
They had a little time left before the deadline of 2 pm, just enough to clean themselves up in the washrooms and drink some water. What they weren't expecting was Sugar's voice - "Hey, are you all ready for the Sugar shack?" - floating down the hallway accompanied by the rumble of a motorized vehicle. By the time they reached the door, Sugar was already there, in the driver's seat of a pink ice cream cart, complete with striped canopy! "My daddy thought you should get a treat for doing all the work, so here I am."
After dragging some chairs out into the hallway – because there was no way they were going to mess up the shiny floor – they enjoyed triple scoops of ice cream as Sugar's cart had more than just 39 varieties. Not that they were surprised. This was how Sugar always did things.
After she waved goodbye and left, they pulled the chairs back into the spotless choir room. Only then did Kurt retrieve his newest possession to show the others. He didn't know whether they'd appreciate it as much as he did, but he was happy he at least got his own signed copy of Chris Colfer's book ~The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell~ only a few days ago. Kurt had been surprised to learn that Chris was doing signings in three Ohio cities and wondered what connection Chris might have to this particular region. But, hey, as long as it made it easier to get a copy, he wasn't complaining. He'd even bought a special padded, zippered book bag for it, in bright slashes of mauve, apricot and turquoise.
Kurt remembered standing in line to get the book signed, but was disappointed to see how plainly Chris was dressed. Yes, there was ~some~ similarity in their looks (though, really, Chris was a ~lot~ older looking), but Kurt knew he himself was much more stylish. Chris seemed tired and subdued, but Kurt thought the streaks in his hair looked cute. Kurt wondered if he could put streaks in his hair and pretend they were natural highlights from the summer sun. Considering how he wasn't going to ruin his skin by sunbathing, he knew he wouldn't be able to pull that excuse off. So ... no streaks.
He waved the others over as he opened the cover. Then his eyes goggled. Because everything was gibberish. He wasn't suffering from an aneurysm or some weird dyslexia. All 448 pages were there as he riffled through them frantically, but each page was apparently in a different language. Some of them he could make out. Like French, because of the odd fashion mag subscription. Or Spanish, from classes. Another page was in Pig Latin ... and yet another in Egyptian hieroglyphs. This. Could. Not. Be. Happening. To. Him. But it was. Even the title page was upside down and the coveted signature looked like chicken feet.
Kurt didn't know what to do: lie down, go home, take a chill pill or scream in frustration. He closed the book cover gently and slid it away from him. Maybe he could count to 10 – or 100 – or a billion. Maybe the book would be normal again if he wished hard enough. Maybe this was a test for him. A magic one, even though he didn't believe in magic. But, hey, if the universe was going to do something freaky (beyond the rejection letter from NYADA despite his audition that Carmen had praised highly and ~told~ him so to his face), anything could happen.
Sensing that something was freaking Kurt out, Brittany and Artie moved back and waited quietly for the clock to strike 2. As it did, they heard the familiar footsteps of the person they'd been expecting, aka Principal Figgins. He walked in, looked around and frowned.
Brittany seemed to be the boldest of them all, so raised her hand. "We cleaned and polished the floor, just like you wanted us to. See, I even used my bunny slippers." The bunny slippers were ~very~ dusty indeed.
Principal Figgins rubbed at his right temple, as if an idea had just popped into his head. It had, in fact, just done so. Something about requiring all of the Glee club members to come in on this particular day – whether they'd graduated or not - unless they had a written excuse from a parent. So that explained the stack of letters on his desk. He still couldn't remember making that odd demand, either personally or through Mr. Shue, but thought he'd better play along so he could go home as quickly as possible. "Very good, children. I'm certain the new students will appreciate your hard work when the fall term begins. You are now dismissed!" With that, he scurried out, eager to leave a very strange sensation behind ... that of being manipulated. It wasn't the first time he'd felt something similar but really didn't care to examine that more closely. Some things were better left alone.
~::~
The Trickster god laughed with glee. It was so much fun throwing a tiny bit of chaos at these puny humans. He'd enjoyed himself in this Ohio nowheresville but should be moving on. Vail sounded good to him. Another four-letter word, and it would be cooler in the mountains. But, first, he had one last person to visit, namely one Sue Sylvester. It was always fun to make her act irrational ... more than she already was.
~::~
Artie and Brittany took off as soon as Figgins had left. They were chatting excitedly. Brittany seemed particularly interested in Artie's new wheelchair accessories and wanted to know what else he had at home and did that mean she could call him a Transformer.
Kurt didn't envy them, well ... not too much. But he still didn't want to go home to an empty house. So he found a shady corner of the concrete steps outside. After brushing dirt off the surface, he sat down gingerly and opened his book bag again.
This time, luck was with him. The pages looked completely normal ... well, as normal as a book of re-imagined fairy tales could be. Kurt settled in to read all about Alex and Conner and their adventures. He could lose himself for a few hours, while he was waiting for his own life to begin. He knew it would. He just had to be patient a bit longer – at least until he finished the book.
THE END
~::~
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