![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Title: “Caring”
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
helenkacan / Helena K.
Pairing (if any): Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne
Rating: FRT/PG-13
Word count: 3,507 words
Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lgbtfest and cross-posted there.
Prompt: 320, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Giles, and ensemble, Post-finale – Giles is injured while in England and Ethan Rayne is called as his next of kin. The fall-out of coming-out under difficult circumstances.
POV: Buffy all the way until the Epilogue.
Author's note: I welcomed the challenge of writing an Ethan who is dedicated to Rupert's welfare; not to mention the incredulity of a Buffy who has to examine her perception of how the world really works.
Additional Note: I know not these comics of which you speak. 'Nuff said.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Joss (and his sundry minions)!
Summary: As per the prompt.
Timeline: Takes place in England. Current day.
Buffy's trembling body was pressed against the glass, her fists clenched, knuckles whitening under the strain. The others hung back, partly because they were stunned by the sight, but mostly in fear of her reaction.
The ICU was one of the more modern ones, allowing the staff to observe their charges not only via monitors but also through the sliding floor-to-ceiling glass panels in each private cubicle. The compromise for the sake of privacy allowed those closest to the patients to visit in peace.
However, on the outside, there was no peace. Buffy spun around, ready to attack both the hospital administrator and the senior nurse with her harsh words.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Buffy didn't even want to spit the name out, but everyone knew what she meant. Seeing that man, sitting by the bed, stroking her Watcher's forehead, was raising her blood pressure, which she knew she could lower in an instant if she were allowed to pummel just the right person. The man in her sight would do just fine.
The administrator, a brunette in her late fifties, had the look of weary patience of someone who not only had to ensure the hospital was run smoothly, but also had to deal with unhappy relatives. Which was not the case here. “I'm sorry, Miss ...?”
Buffy's response was automatic. “Summers. Buffy Summers.”
“Yes, of course, Miss Summers. There is no irregularity here. Mr. Giles is with his designated next of kin.”
Buffy couldn't ... wouldn't give up the argument. “But we're his friends.” The words came out as a whine and were followed by a pout.
The administrator consulted her chart and nodded, allowing a tight smile. “Yes, I have the notation here. His friends from America. We show you, another Miss Summers, Miss Rosenberg, Mr. Harris and Mr. Wells.”
As the woman looked around the room with a puzzled frown, Willow squeaked out, “Um, Andrew's trying to find a parking spot.”
“Well, whether you are here individually or as a group, the restriction is valid; only the immediate family or next of kin allowed to be with the patient. Should his condition improve significantly in the next few days – and only with the prior permission of Mr. Rayne – you may pay a short visit with Mr. Giles.”
Buffy was stunned. How could anybody deny her the right to see Giles? Her Watcher? But, surrounded by the muted beeps of equipment, the soft footsteps of the nurses, some stupid paperwork and a bureaucracy that she couldn't beat into submission, she apparently had no grounds on which to force the issue. Giles didn't need or want her. He only wanted ... Ethan who had yet to turn his head to acknowledge their presence.
Buffy sprang away from the glass panel. She didn't want Ethan to see her, not as needy as she was feeling. Even if he wasn't going to be a bastard and gloat about his advantage, she didn't want to give him any ammunition.
She glared at the administrator. “I want to be informed about any change in his condition.”
The woman stood her ground. She hadn't secured her position by caving in to unreasonable demands from anyone: neither doctors, nor patients and certainly not visitors. “Mr. Rayne will be in touch with you.”
Buffy managed to squeeze out a terse “Fine” before leading the others out into the corridor, where they encountered a flushed Andrew who had to spin around when they passed him without a word. He followed, his voice pestering why they weren't seeing Giles.
The ride back to Slayer Central was tense. When Andrew had parked the car, Buffy took off at a run. Dawn yelled at her, asking where she was headed and got a terse “Legal” flung back. The others followed in Buffy's wake at a regular walk.
When they next saw her, she was engaged in a fiercely whispered argument with the doyen of the legal department, Nigel Edward Dillingsworth. “Old Ned”, as he was affectionately called by his acronym, had to be at least 80. Six feet tall, rail thin, with a shock of white hair that wouldn't be tamed by a comb. Still, there wasn't anyone who could match his love and practice of the law. If he said something was right, then there was no disputing the fact. But Buffy must have missed that particular memo, because she kept interrupting the man as he spoke.
Finally, Buffy nodded her head and slumped down in the nearest chair. Old Ned looked at her with kind compassion before walking back to his private office. Everybody at HQ knew about Buffy's unique relationship with Giles, and of her volatility.
After Old Ned had left them, the others surrounded Buffy. They didn't make a sound, just waited for her to finally tell them what was happening. She finally looked up. In a defeated voice, she admitted, “It's all legal. Ethan's his next of kin. Giles gave him power of attorney ... everything. Old Ned said he'd drawn up the paperwork a few years ago. He's met Ethan. Called him 'a charming though reformed scoundrel'. He also said they'd talked about ... about getting mar-....”
Here, Buffy couldn't continue, couldn't deal with the word that was caught in her mouth.
So Willow seemed more than ready to step in. She squeaked, “Married? Giles was gonna marry Ethan?”
Xander's words were right on top of that. “Holy Batcave, Buff. So Giles is ... what? Gay?”
Buffy glared at him, at all of them. “No. He can't be. What about Miss Calendar? What about ... Olivia? And ... and Mom?”
Buffy looked so haunted that Willow laid a gentle hand on her arm. “Buffy, people change. Things change. Look at me.”
Buffy pulled away from Willow's efforts to comfort her. “But Giles isn't supposed to change. He's just ... Giles.” Buffy wasn't about to give in, not to Willow, not to Ethan, perhaps not even to Giles.
Willow sighed when she saw the determined, stubborn look on Buffy's face. “Come on, guys, let's get something to eat.” Willow turned, walking away from Buffy, not waiting to see who followed.
Buffy watched them leave her. She didn't want company. She wanted ... needed information. And there was only one person who could give it to her. She rose and approached Old Ned's office.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
The message she left on the cellphone was polite.
Really.
The return call came an hour later.
They agreed to meet in a secluded lounge near the ICU. At this time of evening, there were few family members lingering. Only the most devoted stayed through the night. Buffy learned to her chagrin that Ethan fell into the devoted category. He'd just slipped home for a shower and change of clothing as well as something hot to eat before returning to spend the night by Giles's side. He'd assured Buffy he intended to do that as long as necessary.
Buffy accepted a cup of tea he poured from a thermos, glad to have something hot in her hands. She wasn't accustomed to just sitting around, feeling helpless. She'd hated it when her mother had undergone brain surgery. And, now, she didn't know what was wrong with Giles, just that he was really, really sick.
After drinking the tea and not knowing what to do with her hands, Buffy turned to Ethan. “Please, I know you don't care for me, but I ... all of us ... really need to know what's wrong with him.”
“You're right.” Ethan watched her blush as he spoke. “I don't care for you, but I care for him and I know he cares for the lot of you.”
Buffy's impatience forced one syllable out. “So....”
“He has a hereditary condition that is passed through the male line. Occasionally it skips a generation; his grandfather died from it, but his father didn't contract it. When Rupert was born, they didn't have the sophisticated means to do genetic testing. As the condition does not manifest itself until middle age, no one knew whether or not he would be affected. We now know that he suffers from it. He had a bad fall last week. We all thought it was just a stumble; but, then, he became dizzy, his vision blurred and he fainted. Initially, he didn't want me to contact you, he didn't think it was anything serious, so didn't want to worry you. But, when he was admitted to the hospital and the condition was diagnosed, it was I who made the decision.”
Buffy seemed to shrink in on herself. “I guess I have you to thank, then.”
Ethan merely raised an eyebrow and made a non-committal “Mmmm.”
“What's the name of this thing that Giles has? I want to know more about it.”
Ethan found a scrap of paper in his pocket. He easily wrote down a long word, then handed the paper over to Buffy.
“Wow. That's a lot of ... Latin?”
“Yes. But the word can be broken down into its components. I'm sure Willow will be able to hunt down everything you want in no time.”
Buffy was afraid to ask. “Will he get better?”
“The doctors are optimistic. Because he came in during the initial attack, there's a better prognosis than if he had taken no action. He's not on life support at the moment. The machines are there just to monitor respiration, heartbeat and blood pressure.”
“Has he been asleep all this time?”
“No. He's opened his eyes the odd time, looked at me and then gone back to sleep.”
“He knew who you were?”
“Oh, yes.”
Buffy released a huge sigh. Giles was still Giles.
Ethan stood up, interrupting her wandering thoughts. “Would you care to visit him? I'm sure the nursing staff won't mind if it's only for a few minutes. And, of course, I'll vouch for you.”
Buffy jumped up. “Oh, please. I'd like that.”
They found themselves in the ICU minutes later, any apparent irregularity smoothed over by Ethan's charm. She sank into the only chair in the space, while Ethan remained standing.
Buffy wasn't used to seeing her Watcher so quiet, so pale. She even feared to touch him in case she dislodged any of the devices. But at least she was there, on the other side of the glass panel. She didn't know if she wanted Giles to wake up, if it would shock him. So she rose and took Ethan's hand in her own. “Thank you, Ethan. Would it be okay if I came back tomorrow, same time?”
“Of course. Shall I bring tea?”
Buffy smiled. It had been good tea.
As she passed through the sliding glass panel, she saw Ethan regain his customary seat and reach out to stroke a familiar forehead.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Buffy was nowhere to be found when the others awoke the following morning. But her presence had been noted. There's were e-mails in everybody's Inbox. She'd spelled out the name of the condition, asking that Willow find out everything she could about it. She also mentioned that she'd been able to see Giles for a few minutes last night.
The babble that revelation caused around the breakfast table was immediate and noisy. Dawn couldn't stand the commotion, so let out a piercing whistle. Three mouths shut up and startled eyes looked at her warily. “Guys, we can't argue about what we don't know. But we know what Giles has and Buffy's seen him. She wants us to find out everything about this thing, so let's not waste time. If Buffy wants us, she'll call us.”
Three red faces nodded in agreement. They all managed to get through breakfast before they split up for the day. Dawn agreed to help Willow with the research while the guys went off to take care of regular HQ chores. They arranged to meet again for dinner.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Buffy was already in the hospital lounge when Ethan arrived. She greeted him with a shy smile. When he was seated next to her, he poured the tea and handed her the cup. She drank the whole cup before speaking. “I'm trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I did some research on my own today. I need to know, Ethan, is Giles gay? Or bi?”
Ethan bit his lip in concentration. “Is that so important, that you know? Isn't it enough that you know that Rupert is a good man?”
“But I don't know who he is. It's like I always thought he was one thing and he ends up being something else. If I don't know who he is underneath, then I don't know who I am around him.”
“Isn't it enough that you know he's your Watcher?”
Buffy shook her head. “No. Because he's much more than that. He has a life I knew nothing about.” She stared at him pointedly, as if blaming him for that private life.
Ethan's voice was gentle. “Let's wait for him to get better so that he can tell you himself.”
Buffy realized that she wasn't going to get anywhere nagging Ethan. They sat for a few minutes until Ethan asked her if she'd like to visit again. There were tears in the corners of her eyes as she nodded that she would. This time, Ethan stayed in the nursing area, allowing her the semi-privacy to visit with Giles. If she said anything, he didn't hear it. If she touched him, he didn't see it. He kept his back turned to her until she slipped by the panel. Buffy caught Ethan's arm before he could go back to his lover's bedside. “Same time, tomorrow?”
Ethan's eyes twinkled. “As you wish.”
Her last gesture before leaving was to rise on her toes to kiss his cheek.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Not only was there an e-mail from Buffy the next morning, Buffy was at the breakfast table in person.
When the others had quietened down, she began to speak. “Giles is still out of it, but he's getting better. Ethan's with him basically 22 hours a day. He's been sleeping in a chair next to Giles every night.”
Xander frowned. “So, what? Ethan's a white hat now?”
Buffy giggled weakly. “Um, maybe beige. If he's changed, it's only because he loves Giles so much.”
“How can you tell for sure?” was Willow's question.
“Willow, everybody can see it, even the nurses. Ethan shows that he cares about what happens to Giles. He's changed. A lot.”
They still looked unsure, but Buffy knew that they would come to see Ethan as a good guy, too. In the meantime, there was Slayer business to attend to. She'd skipped her responsibilities yesterday to spend the day seeking local LGBT groups to try to learn as much as possible. She also recalled the little bit she'd learned when she'd been the school counselor, except for the fact that any advice she'd given a student had been under the table, basically telling them to get in touch with the nearest PFLAG. There hadn't been a chapter in Sunnydale, but there were several chapters in California.
Buffy had a better understanding why Giles had hidden this aspect of himself from her, from all of them and especially from the school. Because he had to be where his Slayer was going to be, he couldn't let something like that stand in his way. Buffy thought that it would have been hard enough for Giles to be hired by Principal Flutie and the board; she knew that Snyder would have thrown him out of the school and probably tried to have him charged with child endangerment and sexual harassment. Totally unfounded, but Snyder had been a weasel.
As she went through her regular training session, she kept thinking about Giles. How some things just seemed to make more sense. Like how flustered he was when practising to ask Jenny out. And Olivia could be explained away as a FWB, someone he was comfortable around for sex. As for her mom, well, there was the stupid band candy. She tried not to think about the candy because of its association with Ethan. Well, maybe in a few years, she'd forgive him. Maybe. And only because he seemed to make Giles happy.
The rest of the day was a blur until it was time for Buffy to head over to the hospital. She was interrupted before she managed to leave HQ by Willow who handed her a bag.
“I baked cookies. For you and Ethan.”
Buffy gave her a quick hug and then was out the door.
This time Ethan was already there, pouring the tea as soon as he spotted her. As she sat down, she handed over the cookies. “Willow baked them for us.”
Ethan nodded. “Please thank her for me.”
They drank and nibbled until the tea was gone. Then Buffy leaned forward. “Tell me when Old Ned drew up the papers. He said it was a few years ago. Why then?”
Ethan closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell with a forced breath. When he opened them again, Buffy was shocked to see the pain in them. “You died. He came home, broken, without purpose. He began to drink. Old Ned summoned him to his office and insisted that he straighten himself out. Insisted he draw up a proper will and all the other necessary documents. Of course he didn't, the stubborn mule. It was only when he'd returned plagued with injuries from stopping Willow that he knew he had to reach out to somebody. It was a shock when he reached out to me.”
Buffy couldn't contain herself. “And you just said yes? You?”
“He was my old mate, the only one left. And I wanted him. Didn't care that being with him involved middle class respectability, everything we'd mocked when we were young and reckless. It didn't matter, because we were both old farts and it wasn't worth a damn trying to pretend otherwise.”
“Oh, Ethan.” Buffy had never looked at Ethan fondly before. “I'm glad he has you. If he didn't, then he could be dying right now. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't around.”
“Well, I'm certain that, between the two of us, we'll keep him healthy into a doddering old age. Mind, that means I'll be doddering right alongside him.”
Buffy slapped her hand over Ethan's. “Deal!”
They both entered the ICU in a much better mood than either had been in. Buffy was also relieved to see that Ethan's complexion had improved just in the little while they'd been chatting. She figured Ethan must be under a lot of stress, being responsible for Giles, also not having anybody he could really turn to. Well, she was about to change all of that. She was officially adopting Ethan as an honorary Scoobie. It would also mean that she could keep an eye on him. Just in case.
As they were registering with the head nurse on duty, Ethan's attention was directed at a second chair immediately outside of Giles's unit. The nurse merely murmured, “So both of you can sit while you visit.”
Buffy beamed at the nurse and thanked her for her thoughtfulness.
It was a tight squeeze, but they managed to place the chairs side by side. Buffy was so comfortable sitting in silence with Ethan next to her that she didn't feel the need to get up and leave. Ethan wasn't pushing her out. The nurses generally ignored both of them. So she decided to stay, especially after the lights overhead were dimmed, heralding the approach of night.
*~*#*~*#*~*#*~*
Epilogue:
He opened his eyes. His vision was still blurred, and he blinked rapidly, but he managed to keep his eyes open long enough for the scene before him to make any sense. Dear Lord. Perhaps it was all a dream. Or an hallucination. More likely, that.
But the images didn't fade or dissolve, didn't reassemble themselves into something that might make sense. His lover. His Slayer. Asleep. Ethan's arm around Buffy's shoulder, his head on top of hers, her face tucked in against his body.
Giles didn't know how long he'd been lying in that hospital bed. He'd never thought that anything would bring the two most important people in his life together. Not with their history.
Obviously he was wrong. So utterly, gloriously wrong. He closed his eyes, drifting back into healing sleep. He would have to remember to tease the both of them, the next time he woke up. But there was no hurry, no worry on his part. He would just have the longest convalescence in history to keep those two in check. It was a very good plan.
Mere moments later, there was only peace and love and calm in the room. It was an auspicious start that didn't require any prophecy. And that was definitely a very good thing. Even TPTB looked down and smiled at the scene.
END
Title: “Caring”
Author:
helenkacan / Helena K.Pairing (if any): Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne
Rating: FRT/PG-13
Word count: 3,507 words
Written for
lgbtfest and cross-posted there.Prompt: 320, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Giles, and ensemble, Post-finale – Giles is injured while in England and Ethan Rayne is called as his next of kin. The fall-out of coming-out under difficult circumstances.
POV: Buffy all the way until the Epilogue.
Author's note: I welcomed the challenge of writing an Ethan who is dedicated to Rupert's welfare; not to mention the incredulity of a Buffy who has to examine her perception of how the world really works.
Additional Note: I know not these comics of which you speak. 'Nuff said.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Joss (and his sundry minions)!
Summary: As per the prompt.
Timeline: Takes place in England. Current day.
Buffy's trembling body was pressed against the glass, her fists clenched, knuckles whitening under the strain. The others hung back, partly because they were stunned by the sight, but mostly in fear of her reaction.
The ICU was one of the more modern ones, allowing the staff to observe their charges not only via monitors but also through the sliding floor-to-ceiling glass panels in each private cubicle. The compromise for the sake of privacy allowed those closest to the patients to visit in peace.
However, on the outside, there was no peace. Buffy spun around, ready to attack both the hospital administrator and the senior nurse with her harsh words.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Buffy didn't even want to spit the name out, but everyone knew what she meant. Seeing that man, sitting by the bed, stroking her Watcher's forehead, was raising her blood pressure, which she knew she could lower in an instant if she were allowed to pummel just the right person. The man in her sight would do just fine.
The administrator, a brunette in her late fifties, had the look of weary patience of someone who not only had to ensure the hospital was run smoothly, but also had to deal with unhappy relatives. Which was not the case here. “I'm sorry, Miss ...?”
Buffy's response was automatic. “Summers. Buffy Summers.”
“Yes, of course, Miss Summers. There is no irregularity here. Mr. Giles is with his designated next of kin.”
Buffy couldn't ... wouldn't give up the argument. “But we're his friends.” The words came out as a whine and were followed by a pout.
The administrator consulted her chart and nodded, allowing a tight smile. “Yes, I have the notation here. His friends from America. We show you, another Miss Summers, Miss Rosenberg, Mr. Harris and Mr. Wells.”
As the woman looked around the room with a puzzled frown, Willow squeaked out, “Um, Andrew's trying to find a parking spot.”
“Well, whether you are here individually or as a group, the restriction is valid; only the immediate family or next of kin allowed to be with the patient. Should his condition improve significantly in the next few days – and only with the prior permission of Mr. Rayne – you may pay a short visit with Mr. Giles.”
Buffy was stunned. How could anybody deny her the right to see Giles? Her Watcher? But, surrounded by the muted beeps of equipment, the soft footsteps of the nurses, some stupid paperwork and a bureaucracy that she couldn't beat into submission, she apparently had no grounds on which to force the issue. Giles didn't need or want her. He only wanted ... Ethan who had yet to turn his head to acknowledge their presence.
Buffy sprang away from the glass panel. She didn't want Ethan to see her, not as needy as she was feeling. Even if he wasn't going to be a bastard and gloat about his advantage, she didn't want to give him any ammunition.
She glared at the administrator. “I want to be informed about any change in his condition.”
The woman stood her ground. She hadn't secured her position by caving in to unreasonable demands from anyone: neither doctors, nor patients and certainly not visitors. “Mr. Rayne will be in touch with you.”
Buffy managed to squeeze out a terse “Fine” before leading the others out into the corridor, where they encountered a flushed Andrew who had to spin around when they passed him without a word. He followed, his voice pestering why they weren't seeing Giles.
The ride back to Slayer Central was tense. When Andrew had parked the car, Buffy took off at a run. Dawn yelled at her, asking where she was headed and got a terse “Legal” flung back. The others followed in Buffy's wake at a regular walk.
When they next saw her, she was engaged in a fiercely whispered argument with the doyen of the legal department, Nigel Edward Dillingsworth. “Old Ned”, as he was affectionately called by his acronym, had to be at least 80. Six feet tall, rail thin, with a shock of white hair that wouldn't be tamed by a comb. Still, there wasn't anyone who could match his love and practice of the law. If he said something was right, then there was no disputing the fact. But Buffy must have missed that particular memo, because she kept interrupting the man as he spoke.
Finally, Buffy nodded her head and slumped down in the nearest chair. Old Ned looked at her with kind compassion before walking back to his private office. Everybody at HQ knew about Buffy's unique relationship with Giles, and of her volatility.
After Old Ned had left them, the others surrounded Buffy. They didn't make a sound, just waited for her to finally tell them what was happening. She finally looked up. In a defeated voice, she admitted, “It's all legal. Ethan's his next of kin. Giles gave him power of attorney ... everything. Old Ned said he'd drawn up the paperwork a few years ago. He's met Ethan. Called him 'a charming though reformed scoundrel'. He also said they'd talked about ... about getting mar-....”
Here, Buffy couldn't continue, couldn't deal with the word that was caught in her mouth.
So Willow seemed more than ready to step in. She squeaked, “Married? Giles was gonna marry Ethan?”
Xander's words were right on top of that. “Holy Batcave, Buff. So Giles is ... what? Gay?”
Buffy glared at him, at all of them. “No. He can't be. What about Miss Calendar? What about ... Olivia? And ... and Mom?”
Buffy looked so haunted that Willow laid a gentle hand on her arm. “Buffy, people change. Things change. Look at me.”
Buffy pulled away from Willow's efforts to comfort her. “But Giles isn't supposed to change. He's just ... Giles.” Buffy wasn't about to give in, not to Willow, not to Ethan, perhaps not even to Giles.
Willow sighed when she saw the determined, stubborn look on Buffy's face. “Come on, guys, let's get something to eat.” Willow turned, walking away from Buffy, not waiting to see who followed.
Buffy watched them leave her. She didn't want company. She wanted ... needed information. And there was only one person who could give it to her. She rose and approached Old Ned's office.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
The message she left on the cellphone was polite.
Really.
The return call came an hour later.
They agreed to meet in a secluded lounge near the ICU. At this time of evening, there were few family members lingering. Only the most devoted stayed through the night. Buffy learned to her chagrin that Ethan fell into the devoted category. He'd just slipped home for a shower and change of clothing as well as something hot to eat before returning to spend the night by Giles's side. He'd assured Buffy he intended to do that as long as necessary.
Buffy accepted a cup of tea he poured from a thermos, glad to have something hot in her hands. She wasn't accustomed to just sitting around, feeling helpless. She'd hated it when her mother had undergone brain surgery. And, now, she didn't know what was wrong with Giles, just that he was really, really sick.
After drinking the tea and not knowing what to do with her hands, Buffy turned to Ethan. “Please, I know you don't care for me, but I ... all of us ... really need to know what's wrong with him.”
“You're right.” Ethan watched her blush as he spoke. “I don't care for you, but I care for him and I know he cares for the lot of you.”
Buffy's impatience forced one syllable out. “So....”
“He has a hereditary condition that is passed through the male line. Occasionally it skips a generation; his grandfather died from it, but his father didn't contract it. When Rupert was born, they didn't have the sophisticated means to do genetic testing. As the condition does not manifest itself until middle age, no one knew whether or not he would be affected. We now know that he suffers from it. He had a bad fall last week. We all thought it was just a stumble; but, then, he became dizzy, his vision blurred and he fainted. Initially, he didn't want me to contact you, he didn't think it was anything serious, so didn't want to worry you. But, when he was admitted to the hospital and the condition was diagnosed, it was I who made the decision.”
Buffy seemed to shrink in on herself. “I guess I have you to thank, then.”
Ethan merely raised an eyebrow and made a non-committal “Mmmm.”
“What's the name of this thing that Giles has? I want to know more about it.”
Ethan found a scrap of paper in his pocket. He easily wrote down a long word, then handed the paper over to Buffy.
“Wow. That's a lot of ... Latin?”
“Yes. But the word can be broken down into its components. I'm sure Willow will be able to hunt down everything you want in no time.”
Buffy was afraid to ask. “Will he get better?”
“The doctors are optimistic. Because he came in during the initial attack, there's a better prognosis than if he had taken no action. He's not on life support at the moment. The machines are there just to monitor respiration, heartbeat and blood pressure.”
“Has he been asleep all this time?”
“No. He's opened his eyes the odd time, looked at me and then gone back to sleep.”
“He knew who you were?”
“Oh, yes.”
Buffy released a huge sigh. Giles was still Giles.
Ethan stood up, interrupting her wandering thoughts. “Would you care to visit him? I'm sure the nursing staff won't mind if it's only for a few minutes. And, of course, I'll vouch for you.”
Buffy jumped up. “Oh, please. I'd like that.”
They found themselves in the ICU minutes later, any apparent irregularity smoothed over by Ethan's charm. She sank into the only chair in the space, while Ethan remained standing.
Buffy wasn't used to seeing her Watcher so quiet, so pale. She even feared to touch him in case she dislodged any of the devices. But at least she was there, on the other side of the glass panel. She didn't know if she wanted Giles to wake up, if it would shock him. So she rose and took Ethan's hand in her own. “Thank you, Ethan. Would it be okay if I came back tomorrow, same time?”
“Of course. Shall I bring tea?”
Buffy smiled. It had been good tea.
As she passed through the sliding glass panel, she saw Ethan regain his customary seat and reach out to stroke a familiar forehead.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Buffy was nowhere to be found when the others awoke the following morning. But her presence had been noted. There's were e-mails in everybody's Inbox. She'd spelled out the name of the condition, asking that Willow find out everything she could about it. She also mentioned that she'd been able to see Giles for a few minutes last night.
The babble that revelation caused around the breakfast table was immediate and noisy. Dawn couldn't stand the commotion, so let out a piercing whistle. Three mouths shut up and startled eyes looked at her warily. “Guys, we can't argue about what we don't know. But we know what Giles has and Buffy's seen him. She wants us to find out everything about this thing, so let's not waste time. If Buffy wants us, she'll call us.”
Three red faces nodded in agreement. They all managed to get through breakfast before they split up for the day. Dawn agreed to help Willow with the research while the guys went off to take care of regular HQ chores. They arranged to meet again for dinner.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Buffy was already in the hospital lounge when Ethan arrived. She greeted him with a shy smile. When he was seated next to her, he poured the tea and handed her the cup. She drank the whole cup before speaking. “I'm trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I did some research on my own today. I need to know, Ethan, is Giles gay? Or bi?”
Ethan bit his lip in concentration. “Is that so important, that you know? Isn't it enough that you know that Rupert is a good man?”
“But I don't know who he is. It's like I always thought he was one thing and he ends up being something else. If I don't know who he is underneath, then I don't know who I am around him.”
“Isn't it enough that you know he's your Watcher?”
Buffy shook her head. “No. Because he's much more than that. He has a life I knew nothing about.” She stared at him pointedly, as if blaming him for that private life.
Ethan's voice was gentle. “Let's wait for him to get better so that he can tell you himself.”
Buffy realized that she wasn't going to get anywhere nagging Ethan. They sat for a few minutes until Ethan asked her if she'd like to visit again. There were tears in the corners of her eyes as she nodded that she would. This time, Ethan stayed in the nursing area, allowing her the semi-privacy to visit with Giles. If she said anything, he didn't hear it. If she touched him, he didn't see it. He kept his back turned to her until she slipped by the panel. Buffy caught Ethan's arm before he could go back to his lover's bedside. “Same time, tomorrow?”
Ethan's eyes twinkled. “As you wish.”
Her last gesture before leaving was to rise on her toes to kiss his cheek.
~ # ~ # ~ # ~
Not only was there an e-mail from Buffy the next morning, Buffy was at the breakfast table in person.
When the others had quietened down, she began to speak. “Giles is still out of it, but he's getting better. Ethan's with him basically 22 hours a day. He's been sleeping in a chair next to Giles every night.”
Xander frowned. “So, what? Ethan's a white hat now?”
Buffy giggled weakly. “Um, maybe beige. If he's changed, it's only because he loves Giles so much.”
“How can you tell for sure?” was Willow's question.
“Willow, everybody can see it, even the nurses. Ethan shows that he cares about what happens to Giles. He's changed. A lot.”
They still looked unsure, but Buffy knew that they would come to see Ethan as a good guy, too. In the meantime, there was Slayer business to attend to. She'd skipped her responsibilities yesterday to spend the day seeking local LGBT groups to try to learn as much as possible. She also recalled the little bit she'd learned when she'd been the school counselor, except for the fact that any advice she'd given a student had been under the table, basically telling them to get in touch with the nearest PFLAG. There hadn't been a chapter in Sunnydale, but there were several chapters in California.
Buffy had a better understanding why Giles had hidden this aspect of himself from her, from all of them and especially from the school. Because he had to be where his Slayer was going to be, he couldn't let something like that stand in his way. Buffy thought that it would have been hard enough for Giles to be hired by Principal Flutie and the board; she knew that Snyder would have thrown him out of the school and probably tried to have him charged with child endangerment and sexual harassment. Totally unfounded, but Snyder had been a weasel.
As she went through her regular training session, she kept thinking about Giles. How some things just seemed to make more sense. Like how flustered he was when practising to ask Jenny out. And Olivia could be explained away as a FWB, someone he was comfortable around for sex. As for her mom, well, there was the stupid band candy. She tried not to think about the candy because of its association with Ethan. Well, maybe in a few years, she'd forgive him. Maybe. And only because he seemed to make Giles happy.
The rest of the day was a blur until it was time for Buffy to head over to the hospital. She was interrupted before she managed to leave HQ by Willow who handed her a bag.
“I baked cookies. For you and Ethan.”
Buffy gave her a quick hug and then was out the door.
This time Ethan was already there, pouring the tea as soon as he spotted her. As she sat down, she handed over the cookies. “Willow baked them for us.”
Ethan nodded. “Please thank her for me.”
They drank and nibbled until the tea was gone. Then Buffy leaned forward. “Tell me when Old Ned drew up the papers. He said it was a few years ago. Why then?”
Ethan closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell with a forced breath. When he opened them again, Buffy was shocked to see the pain in them. “You died. He came home, broken, without purpose. He began to drink. Old Ned summoned him to his office and insisted that he straighten himself out. Insisted he draw up a proper will and all the other necessary documents. Of course he didn't, the stubborn mule. It was only when he'd returned plagued with injuries from stopping Willow that he knew he had to reach out to somebody. It was a shock when he reached out to me.”
Buffy couldn't contain herself. “And you just said yes? You?”
“He was my old mate, the only one left. And I wanted him. Didn't care that being with him involved middle class respectability, everything we'd mocked when we were young and reckless. It didn't matter, because we were both old farts and it wasn't worth a damn trying to pretend otherwise.”
“Oh, Ethan.” Buffy had never looked at Ethan fondly before. “I'm glad he has you. If he didn't, then he could be dying right now. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't around.”
“Well, I'm certain that, between the two of us, we'll keep him healthy into a doddering old age. Mind, that means I'll be doddering right alongside him.”
Buffy slapped her hand over Ethan's. “Deal!”
They both entered the ICU in a much better mood than either had been in. Buffy was also relieved to see that Ethan's complexion had improved just in the little while they'd been chatting. She figured Ethan must be under a lot of stress, being responsible for Giles, also not having anybody he could really turn to. Well, she was about to change all of that. She was officially adopting Ethan as an honorary Scoobie. It would also mean that she could keep an eye on him. Just in case.
As they were registering with the head nurse on duty, Ethan's attention was directed at a second chair immediately outside of Giles's unit. The nurse merely murmured, “So both of you can sit while you visit.”
Buffy beamed at the nurse and thanked her for her thoughtfulness.
It was a tight squeeze, but they managed to place the chairs side by side. Buffy was so comfortable sitting in silence with Ethan next to her that she didn't feel the need to get up and leave. Ethan wasn't pushing her out. The nurses generally ignored both of them. So she decided to stay, especially after the lights overhead were dimmed, heralding the approach of night.
*~*#*~*#*~*#*~*
Epilogue:
He opened his eyes. His vision was still blurred, and he blinked rapidly, but he managed to keep his eyes open long enough for the scene before him to make any sense. Dear Lord. Perhaps it was all a dream. Or an hallucination. More likely, that.
But the images didn't fade or dissolve, didn't reassemble themselves into something that might make sense. His lover. His Slayer. Asleep. Ethan's arm around Buffy's shoulder, his head on top of hers, her face tucked in against his body.
Giles didn't know how long he'd been lying in that hospital bed. He'd never thought that anything would bring the two most important people in his life together. Not with their history.
Obviously he was wrong. So utterly, gloriously wrong. He closed his eyes, drifting back into healing sleep. He would have to remember to tease the both of them, the next time he woke up. But there was no hurry, no worry on his part. He would just have the longest convalescence in history to keep those two in check. It was a very good plan.
Mere moments later, there was only peace and love and calm in the room. It was an auspicious start that didn't require any prophecy. And that was definitely a very good thing. Even TPTB looked down and smiled at the scene.
END
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From:
no subject
Personally, I feel that Giles's sense of duty was fractured when Buffy died. And that changed him. In my mind, he's damn lucky there were those who wouldn't let him destroy himself. I guess the great irony is that Ethan would be the one with strength and nobility. As for the unintentional coming out, I'm rather pleased that Ethan deflected Buffy's need to know exactly how Giles self-identifies. I believe that Ethan thought that conversation would be appropriate only between Watcher and Slayer.
BTW, your icon is so ... so .... ::is speechless::
But, hey, I certainly DO acknowledge those roots!
From:
no subject
--trek babbling below--
I started watching ST:TOS because Tor (http://www.tor.com) is doing a re-watch with commentary. I've never seen a lot of the full length original episodes. It is /awesome/ in so many ways, as social commentary on the time, as sci fi, as a character drama, as camp and... wow the slash material. I definitely see why this pairing was the first 'mainstream' pop-culture slash paring. It's barely even subtext. (The image in my icon is an un-edited promo shot, for instance)
Also, reading fanfic from the 70s is kind of awesome.