A Canadian Christmas Day joke.

[helenkacan]

Last Thursday at my vision support group party, a number of jokes were told. Two had a distinctly Canadian flavour, though I only want to write about one of them (because the other one mentions the current Canadian Prime Minister - ugh).

So, I've changed bits and pieces here and there.

It just so happened that three Canadian men died on Christmas Day. When they arrived at Heaven's gates, Saint Peter looked them over - carefully - and sighed. But, as it was Christmas Day, and he was feeling generous, he told the men that, if they could produce something - anything - that was relevant to the Christmas story, then they'd be welcomed into Heaven.

The first man, a Newfoundlander who'd been a heavy smoker, pulled out the lighter in his shirt pocket. He flicked it on and gleefully pointed out it represented the star that the wise men had followed to bring them to the manger. Saint Peter sighed but had no choice but to allow him to pass through the gates.

The second man, from B.C., had been a busy executive who'd never slowed down to relax. He pulled out his smartphone (naturally it was the latest model), fumbled around with the touchscreen, then held it up so Saint Peter could hear ... a jingling bell. He pointed out the bell represented Santa's sleigh delivering presents to children all over the world. Saint Peter sighed - again - because he was tired of the attention that ~other~ Saint was getting, obscuring the real meaning of Christmas, though the presents were representations of the gifts from the wise men to baby Jesus. So Saint Peter waved a weary hand and allowed him in.

The third man was an odd fellow, dressed in a plaid flannel shirt, hair unkempt. He had this guilty, furtive look on his face, but finally pulled out a pair of women's lace panties from his hip pocket. Saint Peter didn't think his eyebrows could go any higher, but he waited for an explanation ... ANY explanation. Finally, the man grinned shyly and said, "They're Carol's." Then the man turned to face away from Saint Peter and said, "I'm Mike ... from Canmore."

The last part is my tribute to John Morgan (the creator of Mike, from Canmore, Alberta, as well as many other unique characters) who died in 2004. He'd been a long-time member of Royal Canadian Air Farce, a thoroughly Canadian institution that had started out as a radio broadcast (which I'd listened to in the early 70s) then transitioned into a TV show. It was canceled a few years ago (boo, hiss), but I still have many fond memories of some of their outrageous skits, usually jabbing at the Canadian political scene.

Comments

[lady_kishiria]

"YOU'RE Mike from Canmore?" said St. Peter, opening his robe to reveal a "Kids in the Hall" t-shirt, "you go to hell!"

But then, you know what I always thought of "Air Farce", being pre-Lorne Michaels comedy revolution.

[helenkacan]

Giggle-Snort.
Nah, Saint Peter can't back down as he gave his word. But it's a cute subversive thought. [Mind you, I'm already half-past gone as my first reaction was ... OMG, Saint Peter's FLASHING Mike from Canmore!!!]

Yes, yes, I know you didn't care for Air Farce but that show IS a part of my cultural heritage (and let's not forget how amazing the Trudeau impersonations were).

[lady_kishiria]

Not as good a Trudeau impersonation as Martin Short could do!