Helenka, Queen of Outer Space

The "D" was obviously "Decision". Even if arrived at in the midst of pain. Huh - is that like grocery shopping while hungry?

At least my pain levels were slightly reduced. After waking up at 5:47 (and groaning), I managed to fall back to sleep despite pain nibbling at the edges of my torso, and didn't wake up until the far more civilized time of 8:18.

That didn't mean the pain was non-existent today. It still tried to take centre-stage. Sigh. So I used my usual distracting techniques. Watched (more like listened to) last night's The Rookie, and read, or spent time lying in bed arriving at the great decision. Which was??? I am retiring from the Anointers' and Servers' Ministry of which I've been a part for at least 25 years. I'm sad, but feel I have no choice but to face reality. The pressure of being on duty on top of the new pain and transportation woes was just too much. Now I'll have to send my resignation letter, which I'll try to do tomorrow.

Back to distractions in the evening with watching my judge and game shows as well as a very nuanced season finale of Murdoch Mysteries (in which the concept of not being the one to cast the first stone was examined, especially when condemning someone for being a "left footer" aka gay). There was also the depiction of enduring love within marriages (not only William and Julia but also the Inspector and Margaret).

I just wish I'd had sight today, because I did miss so many little details. Anyway, it's time for blessed pills and the hope for a decent night. ::crosses fingers::

I asked the universe to let me sleep in until 9. The universe gave me 8 hours … so that was okay. I was still feeling like "Grumpy Greta" as I texted S., asking her to receive the delivery of my meals. She was most obliging.

Back in bed, I was dealing with the way-too-familiar spasms, and taking an extra dose of Robax. When I felt better, I watched this week's epi of N.C.I.S. Nola and rewatched Murdoch Mysteries to catch the nuances.

Handled a whole bunch of emails for the blind group and later did a detailed edit for the church. There are times when I love being so picky - and stating individual rules of grammar and punctuation. Hey, Jeopardy! isn't the only way I keep my brain bouncing. Speaking of the show, I was happy to see the current champ win her 7th game. But Alex has been increasingly hoarse for days. Considering he only does 4 shows a week (in two days), that sounds serious.

I'm ending the day on a high note. My vision is pretty good and the colour adequate. I just don't have anything to read because my library account is on the stalled Edge browser. Arrgghh.

I had so much fun this morning, putting on liquid eyeliner as well as my traditional sparkly creamy beige shadow and black mascara. Yay for continuing accidental vision. It was a tiny bit cold today, with either crunchy ice underfoot or mounds of snow I had to navigate when leaving the house. I didn't even mind sitting waiting for my minivan.

I was dropped off at the library with half an hour to spare. There were only four of us along with the librarian to discuss the delightful "No Relation". And, then, our conversations went all over the place. I was picked up before 1 and taken on an extreme sightseeing ride, while the driver picked up and dropped off other clients. Normally, not a problem, but my muscles were seizing up and - every time he hit a speed bump - I had to clench my fists. Finally I was home around 2. I asked S. semi-jokingly whether she or SuM had been contributing to my donation jar. She had been doing it while continuing to clean out the second bedroom. She'd had the coins lying around so long, there were still pennies and they won't be accepted by the bank. So, maybe give them away as souvenirs?

Did my usual editing for the church. Luckily, the prof had done the lead article, so I could just correct wee but pesky errors.

Had my free chicken dinner and watched my game shows. Succumbed to a zombie state for a little while. But, earlier, I'd watched a fascinating N.C.I.S. in which the regulars portrayed other characters from info in old letters. Ellie and Nick were in love; Gibbs with dyed dark hair was her disapproving father. Jack was Ellie's sister. And Tim may have been the scoundrel brother.

Anyway, my muscles are screaming again, so I think I'll have some carrot cake and my Robax. No more agenda or going out until the weekend, so I hope I'll crash easily.

It was a silly, fun day for church-John and me. He arrived shortly after 10:30 so we could drive downtown to an Irish steakhouse for our special Winter-licious lunch together with many from my blind group. Pir server was from Ireland (had a luscious accent). I wanted to know what special cocktails they had with Bourbon. Oh, wow. Did I ever get the special "special". It was only about 17 bucks and the most amazing smooth and smoky quality. I only needed one! C-J ordered a Cosmo.

C-J and I both had the tomato-based veg soup with big carrot chunks. Then he had the fish pie with scallops while I had chicken curry, rice, mango chutney and a papadum. He finished with a chocolate brownie while I tried to revive myself with fresh fruit that was slightly less then impressive. But we were happy campers, not leaving until 2 p.m. Then came the pain as we walked from the hotel to the parking lot under City Hall. I even paid the 20 bucks for parking! So I'd mentioned during the drive that I want to take a luxury train trip across Canada (inspired by an ancient epi of Moonlighting during which Maddy takes a solo cross-country train trip). Perhaps I was being a bit too ambitious. I think I'll look into going up into Northern Ontario as close as possible to Hudson Bay. Ontario is an absolutely gorgeous province with tons of trees and sheer walls of blasted rocks on either side of the highways, with tons of lakes. Okay, time to start investigating.

Even though the day was supposed to be All. About. Him, it turned out he had extra boxes of the special chocolates he'd given me before Kissymas. And did I want one? ::rolls eyes:: Silly question. By the time he got me home, all I wanted was a nap. Alas, I had church editing to do. So I got that out of the way, then took myself and the pain to bed where I watched all my accumulated judge and game shows. Now I'm feeling a little queasy, so I had a plain bagel. Anyway, a good time was definitely had by all.

Even more important - see me fix Brita pitcher first thing in the morning! What a relief. I'm lucky that parts merely flew off when it fell twice to the floor, but nothing leaked. So I washed everything and reassembled it.

There was a layer of snow on the ground when I left but no wind. I arrived at church at 9:30, glad to be early. It was a very special day because Brent was the guest preacher, covering the next two lines of the Lord's Prayer. He and John sat in front of me. It was a wonderful service and many people had come because Brent was there. Amazingly enough, our organist needed to keep upping the volume during our singing of the Lord's Prayer because there were so many people present. After the service, Brent was his usual naughty, teasing self with me. Aww, I miss that. What I also missed was the ::growls in frustration:: the traditional accompaniment to my second fave hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul" because our new music director decided to jazz up the piano. Arrgghh. This was written by a man who'd just lost his wife and family in a shipwreck!!!

Had a lot of time to waste after the service. Jan snagged me some truffles from the dessert table. My ride home arrived at 1:23 and we were on our way. Even though I've put off writing my "confession" on FB, I checked in after an absence of many weeks with a very brief description. Then I took it easy for the rest of the day. Watched last night's SNL and have been listening to the French station continuously. Right now, it's playing Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony". I still have mixed feelings about the piece - and him - but I vividly recall playing it … in 1969!!!

I've swallowed all of my pills and am thinking about bed. I'm also thinking of writing at least one short fic for the Romancing McShep communicy (for Valentine's month). Anyway, I'm happy about all the good things that happened today.

When you drop your Brita pitcher on the floor once, what do you do? Well, I put it back in an unstable place and it fell again. This time, the whole thing unravelled, with the pour spout cover even breaking off and the filter falling out. Sigh. Good thing I was going to put in a new filter on Saturday. And I think the spout cover can be snapped in again. So, that was the rest of my day.

After having brekkie, I returned to bed and fell asleep again. Had another dream. This time it was more nebulous, but I was an N.C.I.S. agent. Yes, yes, please laugh! You know I'm a good sport about it all.

What I wasn't a good sport about was my electronics defying me. I was trying to wrap up my editing for the church, but the doc kept fading out and resaving. And my iPad wouldn't do a reverse image of the PDF because Siri said it was already reversed. Sigh. But I finally sent off the little I could see. Sigh.

Watched my usual no-new-shows Wednesday programs. And I've been in pain since early evening. Obviously, I didn't plan my pills out properly - or else the pain is not following a logical schedule. Yes, LoL. And now my heater is making weird sounds. Growl. Considering that my vision has improved (squash on dark chocolate), I think I'm going to read for a bit and wait for the pills to kick in.

Was it too much to ask for? To go to bed at 1 a.m. without pain (as I'd delayed my pain pills until I was almost ready), to have 8 hours of sleep, once again without pain, then many hours awake trying to reconnect with the parts of my body that have been sabotaging me on a regular basis?

I suppose so. Sigh. But it did feel really nice while it lasted. During that time, I watched last night's N.C.I.S. which was really sad (about a Marine who had hidden her deafness, and making her believe she'd dropped a missile on top of her BF, except he'd been shot dead first and then placed at the test site because he was a whistleblower). Convoluted but believable.

Alas, I was already feeling pain when the email came in from the church for editing. And there was a ton of it, too, which I had to tackle without the use of my iPad. Such a dreary exercise. After that, it was a relief to crawl into bed and watch my regular TV shows, eventually going into a weird not-quite-there state.

Still, it had happened. Don't know why: whether it had been the warmer than freezing temps or some miracle. I can only hope for more again.

But, oh, for a few hours, it was bliss. Not the waking up after 6 bit, but then falling back asleep and waking up - without pain - at 8:57. I'd gone for 9 hours without pain. I'd also had a delightful brekkie, roast chicken dinner to which I'd added the last of the cranberry chutney. Naturally, the universe had to begin plotting its revenge.

Though I did watch last week's service again and it was enjoyable, writing about it was like pulling taffy: stretching and pulling but not really getting to the heart of the story. So I had to abandon it for today. Decided to watch some old recorded TV, namely the This Hour Has 22 Minutes New Year Special from December, 2018. I believe I'd never watched it after I recorded it! Then I watched the corresponding Year of the Farce and nodded off. Sigh.

As the day wore on, I began to fret about going to church tomorrow. There was freezing rain out with a snow advisory, on top of my returning misery. I'd gotten my ride times and they were disgusting, meaning I'd be stuck at church for way too many hours. At the best of times, it would be tolerable. But, in pain, no way. So I cancelled my rides, sent my apologies to the worship logistics coordinator, and asked church-John to pick up Sunday News for me. I believe he had attended a memorial service for one of the old-timers (90) who had died - on Christmas Day.

I am so naïve. Sigh. Oh, I managed through all of church. Even forgot to grab a sheepskin pew pad. Just as well that church-John had bought me three more bottles of Robax. But I'd been bragging to my friends. Sigh again. OTOH, even though the days are getting longer and it was sunny today, it was c-c-cold. In the twenties. So I was already on the brink when my driver showed up around 1. And scrambling when I got in to eat something quick (do chips count?) so I could swallow the pills.

Went to bed where I nodded off a couple of times. The only gift I have today is crisp vision. Once again, I wonder if cold air hitting my eye helps. I woke up the second time with spasms. [@#$%] Yes, I'm swearing up a (quiet) storm. Took more Robax along with chocolate. Am just waiting for a little more time to pass before I can take my bedtime pills and head back to bed. What a wreck of a day despite a wonderful morning.

OTOH, I do have a working can opener. Despite the cold, SuM and S. went for walkies this afternoon down to the main drag and picked one up for me. Now I just have to hide it from c-J as he's all about battery-powered appliances which reminds me of the joke our mutual friend Brian made this morning - about alternate power sources for vibrators. I wondered what a steam-punk one would be like! Okay, I made myself smile … briefly.

That was yesterday - mostly pain-free. Today, the Universe toyed with me. Waking me up at 5:16 was only one impolite aspect. Attacking the border of my muscles another. Somehow, I managed to read, watch TV, sleep, write emails, edit the church publication, but right now I feel lousy.

The only semi-good thing was the second match of the Jeopardy! GoAT tournament. James won tonight's match. I'm still rooting for Ken. Anyway, I'm feeling cold, so it's time to jump into bed after taking my pills. Sigh.